I can’t help but feel like I wasted an entire semester on a play that ultimately fell apart, and it’s weighing heavily on my mind.
Hey everyone. In just two weeks, I should have been gearing up to open my senior show, Once Upon a Mattress, a production I specifically suggested because I believed it would be a great fit for our college. Instead, it looks like I’ll be spending another unproductive evening in my dorm, just like every other night this semester.
When auditions rolled around, I aimed for any named role—anything would have been better than what I ended up with. I put in a ton of effort, even taking voice lessons through the music department. But what was the result? I was cast as “Omnes,” which I later found out was a mistake due to inconsistencies in the script.
I still showed up with optimism, especially when the director decided to introduce a “court band” into the production. I thought this could turn out to be a unique experience. But by the second day of blocking, I discovered my role involved standing around with four other people, making noise at specific moments that occasionally disrupted the flow of the show—and getting chased around by King Sextimus. I felt utterly humiliated, imagining my business professors and the university president laughing at me, while I’ve spent the last four years preparing for a real career in supply chain management. When I signed up for this show, I never signed up to lose my dignity. So, I decided to quit.
Now, I dread the thought of attending the performance, knowing the director thought it was acceptable to turn me and four others into the butt of a joke that truly adds nothing to the show. It’s tough watching my friends get excited for a fun evening in two weeks while I sit here, feeling left out. I can’t shake the worry that they might think of me as a traitor for not being a “team player.”
The hardest part? I postponed my graduation for this. Last summer, when I applied to add my supply chain major—requiring just a few more classes—my advisor suggested I could substitute a class only offered in the spring with a similar one, allowing me to graduate in December. Now, I’m just counting down the days until May to get my degree and finally move forward with my life.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’ve had such a frustrating experience this semester. It’s tough when you invest so much time and effort into something you’re passionate about, only to feel let down by the outcome. It sounds like you had high hopes for your role in “Once Upon a Mattress,” especially since you were so invested in the show and the vision you had for it.
It’s completely valid to feel disappointed and even a bit humiliated when things don’t go as planned. Being asked to perform in a way that doesn’t align with your expectations or vision can be really disheartening. It’s understandable to step back if you felt that your dignity was at stake—there’s no shame in prioritizing your own well-being.
As for your friends, remember that they’re likely understanding of your decision, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. True friends will recognize the tough choices you had to make. It’s natural to feel bitter about missing out on the fun and camaraderie, but it’s important to focus on your own path ahead. You’ve accomplished so much during your time in college, and graduation is just around the corner.
Maybe consider finding other ways to engage during this time, whether that’s connecting with your friends outside of the show, exploring new hobbies, or even considering a smaller, more fulfilling project in the arts. It could help shift your focus away from the disappointment and towards new opportunities.
Hang in there, and know that this setback doesn’t define your entire experience or your future. Graduation will be a time to celebrate all your hard work!