My former friend is considering going to the guidance counselor because I called her loud-mouthed. I’m in grade 8 and have been friends with Sahara (a fake name) since the beginning of the school year since we’re in the same class.
Throughout the year, she’s been involved in several conflicts, many of which were sparked by her behavior or her nosiness. Recently, I started distancing myself because I realized she’s quick to snitch on others while playing the victim, often citing her mom’s mental health struggles as an excuse for her actions.
Last Friday, a classmate who is friends with Sahara wrote me a note saying that Sahara was in another fight due to her chatty nature. In response, I wrote back, “Obviously, that’s what she gets for not thinking before she speaks.”
I was out sick on Monday, and after the first period, Sahara called me out in the class group chat. She mentioned that she found the note after it fell on the floor and assumed that my comment about her being loud-mouthed was about her needing braces—saying she can’t keep her teeth in her mouth.
I explained that it was a misunderstanding and pointed out that her jokes are often insensitive, which gave her no grounds to complain to the guidance counselor. She brought up her mom’s mental health again and dismissed my reasoning.
Am I in the wrong here?
It sounds like you’re in a pretty complicated situation. It’s clear that you and Sahara have had some conflicts, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling hurt and frustrated. Here are a few things to consider:
Communication: It seems like there was a misunderstanding regarding your note. Your comment about Sahara being a “big mouth” was in reference to her talking too much, but she interpreted it differently. Clear communication can help prevent misunderstandings like this in the future.
Conflict Resolution: When disagreements arise, it’s usually best to address them directly and calmly rather than letting them escalate. If you feel comfortable, you might consider discussing the situation with Sahara privately to clear the air.
Guidance Counselor: If she is indeed planning to bring this up with a guidance counselor, it’s a good opportunity for you to explain your side of the story as well. Counselors are there to help mediate conflicts and provide support.
Friendship Dynamics: Sometimes, friendships can bring out both positive and negative qualities in people. If you feel that Sahara’s behavior is affecting you negatively, it might be worthwhile to evaluate whether this friendship is serving you well.
Empathy: While it’s important to stand up for yourself, showing empathy towards her situation (like her mentioning her mom) might help in resolving the conflict. Everyone has their struggles, and understanding each other’s backgrounds can sometimes ease tensions.
In conclusion, it’s hard to say if you’re “wrong” or not, but it’s clear that things have gotten heated. Focusing on communication and empathy might help you navigate this situation better.