My parents genuinely believe that I’ll get into prestigious schools like Stanford, Harvard, or MIT simply because I have a disability. It’s so frustrating because they think that all I need to do is write a compelling college essay about my experience, and I’ll automatically get accepted. I keep reminding them that while the essay is indeed important, it’s unrealistic to think I can get in without strong extracurricular activities. They look at me as if I’m the one who doesn’t understand.
Whenever I mention the need for extracurriculars to be competitive at those schools, my dad just brushes it off with a laugh and says, “agree to disagree,” as if I’m obviously mistaken. It drives me insane!
Additionally, they often compare me to a kid who got into several top schools without an extensive list of extracurriculars. But he faced unique challenges—he was low-income, worked two jobs, lived in a rural area, and was a caretaker. I, on the other hand, come from a high-income background, live in an affluent area, and am Asian; our situations are completely different! He didn’t have time for extracurriculars, while I have the opportunity to pursue them.
This isn’t a pity party where I’m trying to garner sympathy for not getting enough opportunities—it’s just infuriating when my parents, in their 40s and from India, act like they understand American college admissions better than I do, the one who is actually going through it.
And mark my words, even if I write the best essay imaginable, if I end up getting rejected from these top schools, they will inevitably come up with excuses like “it was yield protection” or “you should’ve written a better essay,” or blame it on my being Asian, rather than admitting they were mistaken in their assumptions.
It sounds like you’re in a really frustrating situation, and I can understand why you’re feeling so upset. Your feelings are completely valid. Navigating college admissions is already a stressful process, and having your parents dismiss your concerns and experiences must make it even harder.
It’s great that you recognize the importance of extracurriculars and the various factors that play into college admissions beyond just the essay. Each applicant’s journey is unique, and it’s frustrating when others don’t see that. Your parents might have good intentions, but it seems like they’re not fully grasping the complexities of the admissions process, especially with their own perspectives shaped by different experiences.
Maybe it would help to have a calm conversation with them about the specifics of what colleges look for in applicants. You could share articles or resources that break down the admissions process so they can see how holistic it is. It might also help to emphasize that, while your disability is part of your story, it doesn’t define your entire application.
Regardless of what happens in the admissions process, remember that your worth isn’t determined by the schools you get into. The right fit for you is what matters most. Good luck – you’ve got this!