“Pick Me Girls”
I can’t be the only one feeling the frustration that comes with “pick me girls.” One of my closest friends, whom I genuinely care for (though not for much longer), is low-key one of them, and it’s honestly driving me up the wall.
There’s this guy in our friend group who spreads rumors about everyone and has hurled slurs at me, yet he’s one of her “best friends.” When I brought this up to her, she just shrugged it off, saying, “I know he’s not a great guy, but he’s never done anything wrong to me.”
To make matters worse, she’s leading on a guy who has a crush on her, even though she’s not interested. When I asked her about it, she just said, “I don’t want to be mean or anything!”
Then there’s this guy who does drugs, and she immediately agreed to help him with his homework. When I confronted her, her response was, “I want to be nice to everyone!”
She even tried to invite three guys over to her house, one of whom has bullied me for my race—like, seriously? And the other guy was my crush. (The hangout never actually happened, thankfully.)
These are just a few instances, and I can’t wrap my head around why I’m still holding onto this friendship. Sure, when she’s not fixated on guys (which is about 1% of the time), she can be fun to be around.
Have any of you dealt with similar situations involving pick me girls?
It sounds like you’re in a really frustrating situation. It’s tough when someone we care about doesn’t seem to align with our values or personal boundaries, especially when it comes to their choice of friends. The “pick me girl” archetype can sometimes put a lot of pressure on those around them, and it sounds like your friend might be trying too hard to fit in or be liked by people who don’t deserve her loyalty.
It’s understandable that you feel conflicted about the friendship, especially since you enjoy her company when she’s not caught up in this behavior. One approach might be to have an honest conversation with her about how her actions are affecting you and your feelings about the situation. This could help you gauge whether there’s potential for her to see your perspective and make changes, or if it’s time to reconsider the friendship altogether.
Remember, friendships should be supportive and respectful, so it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Have you thought about setting some boundaries or taking a step back to see how you feel about the friendship without the added stress of her choices?