Teacher Treating Me Differently?
I’m a 16-year-old girl and I’ve got a history teacher who is usually bubbly and super interactive with everyone, but it feels like she treats me differently. While she’s not outright rude, there’s a noticeable difference in how she interacts with me compared to other students.
Here are some observations I’ve made:
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She never gives me compliments, even though she often admires others for small things like outfits or hairstyles. I’ve noticed that she seems to have complimented everyone except me.
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She often acts as if she doesn’t see me, but I can catch her staring when I’m not looking.
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She’s much more talkative with students who have friends in class, but I don’t really have anyone to connect with in this setting.
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While she’s bubbly and engaging with the girls, and chatty with the boys, there’s a noticeable stiffness in her demeanor when she interacts with me.
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Sometimes she’ll briefly ask if I’m okay, but it feels more like a formality.
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I always end up starting conversations, even though I’m not particularly outgoing.
Interestingly, people have pointed out that we look alike, noting our similar facial features, hair, and even mannerisms. A friend mentioned that this resemblance might make her feel uneasy, but I can’t change that. I can see the resemblance too, but I can’t understand why a teacher would treat a student so differently because of it.
For context, I don’t cause trouble—I complete my work quickly and don’t occupy much space in the classroom. I had expected her to treat me like her other students, but she seems more guarded around me. I often feel brushed aside, while everyone else gets her enthusiastic attention.
I’m curious about why a teacher might act this way. I’m not looking for validation; I just need some insights. It’s disheartening to feel invisible, yet so intensely noticed by her.
Edit: I’m also a top student in her class, yet she never acknowledges my achievements. There’s another smart girl in the class, and she often highlights her accomplishments, even if they’re minor.
(I’m cross-posting because I didn’t get much feedback from my previous post in another community.)
It sounds like you’re in a really confusing situation, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling frustrated and overlooked. Based on what you’ve described, there could be several reasons behind your teacher’s behavior:
Unconscious Bias: Sometimes, teachers might unconsciously favor or interact differently with students based on personal feelings or biases. Since people have mentioned that you look alike, it’s possible there’s a subconscious response on her part that affects how she interacts with you.
Personality Dynamics: Maybe your teacher feels more comfortable with students who are more extroverted or display certain social dynamics that resonate with her. Since you mentioned you’re quieter and don’t take up much space, she might not know how to engage with you in a way that feels natural to her.
Perception of Competence: As a top student, she might assume you don’t need the same encouragement or support as other students, which could lead her to interact with you less. Unfortunately, this could also mean she overlooks your contributions and achievements.
Projection: If she sees an aspect of herself in you—especially with the resemblance—it might create an uncomfortable dynamic for her. She might not know how to navigate those feelings, leading to the distant behavior you’ve noticed.
Personal Issues: It’s also worth considering that her behavior could be influenced by her personal situation or challenges outside the classroom. Teachers are human too, and their mood or behavior can sometimes reflect what’s happening in their lives.
While it’s tough feeling invisible, it might help to continue trying to engage with her. You could ask for feedback on your work or express your thoughts in class discussions to create opportunities for interaction. If you’re comfortable, consider talking to her after class about how you feel; sometimes a one-on-one conversation can clear up misunderstandings.
If you continue to feel dismissed despite your efforts, it might be worthwhile to bring this up with a trusted adult or another teacher who can provide support or guidance. You deserve to feel seen and appreciated for your achievements and contributions in the classroom!