For context I’m about to finish my fourth year at a large university in Canada. Unfortunately I still have a year left and I don’t enjoy my degree at all. The only reason I’m in it is that some courses are pre-reqs for my dream grad program and I fckd up my gpa in my first and second year.
Ever since my first semester holidays just haven’t felt the same. Throughout the academic year I have a hard time looking forward to or even just enjoying any holiday. Since I spend most of my time studying subjects that bore or anger the life out of me, studying for some exam, or working a retail job that I hate with a burning passion, holidays just feel like any other day but with a couple nice meals and visits from my bro and SIL. I often feel guilty for not spending time with them when they visit or the rest of my fam bc I’m either working or studying for an exam I have coming up.
I have little to no excitement around the holidays, cause I constantly have either work or school looming over my head and I hate it so much. For instance, It’s Easter today and instead of enjoying time with my family I’m studying all day for 2 chemistry exams. Christmas, it’s pretty much the same thing. Finals often go up until the 22nd and I’m like… hold up Christmas is in less than a week? I’m rarely ever “in the spirit” for holidays bc my mind is so preoccupied and by the time they actually do come around I’m physically and mentally exhausted. Then I’m tired and stressed from my job.
Is this just part of growing up? Is this temporary? Does anybody else feel the same way? How do yall cope? I’m just so tired and all I want is a long break and be done with this stupid degree.