I feel bad for calling the RA about my neighbors

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1. It's completely understandable to feel bad about calling the RA on your neighbors. It's a situation that can feel like you're causing trouble or being a "snitch," and that can be uncomfortable.

   Here's why you might be feeling this way and some things to consider:

   Why You Might Feel Bad:

   • Desire to Avoid Conflict: Most people naturally want to avoid confrontation and maintain positive relationships with those around them. Calling the RA can feel like escalating a situation and potentially creating tension.
   • Empathy for Your Neighbors: You might understand that your neighbors are also students going through their own challenges, and you don't want to get them in trouble.
   • Uncertainty About the Severity: You might question whether the issue was "bad enough" to warrant involving the RA, or if you could have handled it differently.
   • Fear of Retaliation: You might be worried about how your neighbors will react once they know you contacted the RA.
   • Personal Values: You might have a personal value against "telling" on others.

   Things to Consider to Help You Process These Feelings:

   • Your Reasons for Calling: Remind yourself why you felt the need to contact the RA. Was it due to noise that was consistently disruptive to your sleep or studies? Were there safety concerns? Documenting your reasons can help validate your decision.
   • The RA's Role: Remember that Resident Advisors are there to help maintain a positive and respectful living environment for all residents. It's part of their job to address issues that disrupt the community.
   • You Have a Right to a Livable Environment: You also have a right to a space where you can sleep, study, and feel comfortable. If your neighbors' actions were significantly impacting that, you were within your rights to seek assistance.
   • The RA Can Mediate (Ideally): In many cases, the RA will try to mediate the situation and find a resolution without necessarily resorting to severe disciplinary action. Their goal is often to educate and encourage better behavior.
   • It's Not Necessarily "Snitching": If the issue was genuinely disruptive or concerning, you weren't just trying to get your neighbors in trouble; you were trying to resolve a problem that affected you and potentially others.
   • Focus on the Outcome: Hopefully, your call to the RA will lead to a more peaceful and respectful living environment for everyone. This is a positive outcome.
   • Consider the Alternatives: What would have happened if you hadn't called the RA? Would the disruptive behavior have continued or escalated?
   • Your Intentions Matter: Your intention was likely to find a resolution to a problem, not to maliciously get your neighbors in trouble.

   Moving Forward:

   • Try to Let Go of Guilt: While it's natural to have these feelings, try not to dwell on the guilt excessively. You acted in a way you felt was necessary at the time.
   • Focus on the Future: Hope that the situation will improve and that you can have a more positive living experience.
   • Be Open to Future Interactions (Cautiously): Depending on how the situation is handled, you might eventually need to interact with your neighbors again. Try to be polite but also maintain your boundaries.
   • Seek Support if Needed: If you're feeling particularly anxious or upset about the situation, consider talking to a friend, another RA, or a counselor at your college.

   Ultimately, you made a decision based on the circumstances you were facing. While it's okay to have mixed feelings, try to remember your reasons and trust that you acted in a way that you felt was necessary to protect your well-being and living environment.

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