For context, I am 16 and was recently diagnosed with BPD. It rare in people my age but Im one od the lucky ones to be diagnosed this early (by 3 different professionals). Furthermore, before this school year I was admitted to a psych ward because I attempted suicide. Prior to this, I was In AP Chem, APUSH, AP Algebra 2 and AP Lit. I am no longer in any of these classes because of the time I missed in the hospital. Once I got out of the hospital, I was a completely different person, I was bright, confident and I worked harder than I had before. Now, 6 months out of the hospital, I feel worse than ever.
The months leading up to and after my diagnosis, my life has been awful. My grades have gone from mid-high 90s to 50s-70s. I cant control myself or my emotions and I can barely attend school. I have suicidal thoughts with no intention to act on them, which is why I cant admit myself again. I tell my parents and teachers about my diagnosis and how difficults it is for me to simply live and all I get are confused faces and people in denial.
I am expected to complete the same amount of work as other people and attend school everyday. Am I just lazy or is too much being expected of me? I feel so overworked and I feel like my life is over. I might have to graduate late because of this, which is something I never even thought possible for me because I was one of the top students in my district LAST YEAR. Everyone I talk to, my psychiatrist, my school psychologist and school counselor dont really provide me with anything except a pat on the back and to suck it the fuck up and stop being lazy. The only exception to this is my therapist. She is pretty much the only reason I am alive and she helps me through everything.
I feel like Im just being left behind and people dont even fucking care. I thought my parents would understand but nobody really does. Please help me in any way possible. Im so done for.
