I’m making this post in an effort to fix my mindset about how college has gone for me, having now just reached the end of a degree in mechanical engineering.
I’m the eldest daughter in a working class family that financially struggled throughout my childhood. My parents were extremely hard workers, but life circumstances and mental health made things difficult. Despite this, they worked hard to make sure I knew my potential. Nobody in my life swayed me towards engineering. I have no immediate or extended family members in the field, but I loved both science and art, and so engineering was the best choice for me to use what I was good at with a mix of creative thinking. I had little to no guidance, but some support. I’ve had to navigate this and figure things out largely by myself. Sorting my own financial aid and creating my own opportunities.
I’m not the most academic, but I do well enough to maintain okay grades since I do what I love. I started college towards the top of the class, slipping down to a little below average as each obstacle came my way. Secured a great college placement and a great grad programme. Multiple job offers, told my final year project is worth continuing as a PhD if I wanted, never had to resit anything, and never failed. I work very hard. I did extra curriculars and volunteered too.
College was very hard for me. I mentally struggled to the point of needing medication for it. It was very lonely at times. Doing what I love but still not getting good grades was a repeated gut punch. I hold myself to a very high standard. I might miss out on the grade requirement for this grad program I’ve signed on. I’ve managed to largely overcome my mental struggles and make a lot of very close friends in the latter half of college. I’m more confident in myself than I’ve ever been. I still deeply struggle with the anxiety and doubt.
Waiting for my college results won’t be easy. I dread missing out on a great opportunity despite my hard work and having to go on the job hunt once again while others start theirs. I have a hard time with an anxiety disorder. But I’m working really hard to tell myself it’s okay. I just bought my own first car with my own money. I should be proud of how far I’ve come, inside and out. My parents are proud of me. I’m quite hard on myself, which makes it so hard to be happy about what I’ve just achieved. But I know it’ll be okay.
I made it out in 4 years, having learned so much more than I ever thought I would. I should be proud of myself. For anyone in the same boat as me, and all of you who graduate this year, you should be proud of yourselves too.