Hey you all! I’m a first-year College student getting ready to go back home next week!
I have been feeling this unbelievable sadness since coming here. I’ve felt homesick, lonely, unhappy about my school’s culture, uncomfortable, and just generally not drawn towards being in college. My counselor even told me I was showing signs of someone with clinical depression!
I am coming towards the end of my first year, and I realized that the sadness I was feeling started waning away closer to the end of the year, which ironically makes me more sad now that I’m about to leave.
People are already going home, and it’s already starting to feel like a ghosttown in the dorms. I regret not documenting my life as much during my first-year. I realized I’ll never be a freshman in college ever again, and the anticipation I felt about going to college when I was younger is now a realized part of my past. I’m going back to a life at home that I am grateful for, but feels incredibly mundane. Sometimes I feel the fantasy of going home after being away for so long is more exciting than actually going back home and back to your typical life. I just wish I would have taken everything in more! I will never be at this point in my life again, and coming towards the end of my freshman year and closer to adulthood is making me realize that!