What do you reasonably say to fellow classmates when you got higher grades/passed the class and they didn’t?

How should you approach classmates when you’ve received higher grades or passed a class, and they haven’t? As I try to be more social, I’ve noticed a significant challenge in navigating these situations. It feels uncomfortable to say something like, “I’m sorry to hear you didn’t pass O Chem 1,” especially when I’m moving on to O Chem 2. It seems a bit insensitive, right?

I personally avoid discussing exam grades with classmates in my section. I’m open to sharing my scores with students from other sections, but not with those who are in my class. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad if they happen to see that I’ve done better.

So, what do you talk about instead? We share a common interest since we’ve taken or are taking the same class, and the topic of grades is bound to come up. When someone mentions, “Yeah, I didn’t pass,” it can feel really awkward. How do you handle that?

One Reply to “What do you reasonably say to fellow classmates when you got higher grades/passed the class and they didn’t?”

  1. Navigating conversations about grades can definitely be tricky, especially when you want to be supportive of your classmates while also being proud of your own achievements. Here are a few tips on how to handle these situations with sensitivity:

    1. Acknowledge their feelings: If a classmate mentions their struggles, you could respond with something like, “I’m really sorry to hear that. I know how tough O Chem can be.” This shows empathy and understanding.

    2. Shift the focus: Instead of dwelling on grades, you can pivot the conversation to study strategies or resources that helped you. You might say, “If you want, I can share some study tips or resources that worked for me. It might help for next time.”

    3. Share your experience: You can relate your own challenges by saying, “I had my struggles too, especially with certain concepts. It took me a while to really grasp them.” This can help normalize the difficulties everyone faces in tough classes.

    4. Encourage them: Offer encouragement and remind them that one class doesn’t define their future. You could say, “I believe in you; I know you can do it next time!” This can be uplifting and reassuring for them.

    5. Ask about their plans: Instead of focusing on grades, ask them what they’re planning to do next – whether that’s retaking the class or finding additional help. This keeps the conversation forward-looking.

    Remember, it’s important to be mindful of others’ feelings while also being honest about your own experiences. Striking that balance can help foster a supportive environment among classmates.

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