New Roommate Situation Feels… Unsettling (And Kind of Disturbing)
So, I live in a four-person apartment where two private bedrooms are adjacent, sharing a living room and kitchen, and then there are the other two rooms. The room next to mine has been vacant all semester since my friend who lived there transferred. However, a new girl moved in yesterday. I didn’t have a chance to chat with her, and everything seemed fine—until last night.
I usually go to bed around 9:30-10:00 PM, but I was jolted awake by loud banging on my door. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but the noise continued. It stopped for a moment when I didn’t respond, but then it started up again. Groggy, I finally opened the door, and there she was—the new roommate. She looked at me and asked, “Were you sleeping?” Like, obviously? I asked her what she needed, and she just said, “Nevermind.” If you didn’t need anything, why were you banging on my door like that? My lights were off, so it was pretty clear I was asleep.
I went back to bed, only to wake up again at 1:30 AM to her bringing a guy into the apartment. They were pretty loud at first, and then things escalated to an argument—lots of swearing, yelling, with him accusing her of cheating and her denying it. This went on for nearly an hour. Then it took a darker turn. I heard her say, “Let me go,” and him saying, “I’m gonna beat you up again.” A loud thump followed, and I think he hit her. I might’ve heard crying, but I wasn’t entirely sure.
He ended up staying the entire night. I managed to fall asleep around 3:00 AM, but woke up again at 4:00 AM and it sounded like they were having sex. Look, do what you want, but I’m just confused? They were just fighting, accusing each other of cheating, and it sounded serious enough that I was genuinely worried for her safety—and then suddenly they’re… hooking up? The whole situation just feels very off.
I honestly don’t know what to do now. This seems way beyond just typical roommate issues. Should I say something? Stay out of it? Report it? This is a lot to deal with on her first night.
That sounds like an incredibly unsettling situation. It’s understandable to feel uncomfortable about what you experienced, especially since it involves potential safety concerns. Here are some steps you might consider:
Check In with Her: If you feel safe doing so, you could knock on her door and casually ask if she’s settling in and if she needs anything. This could make her feel more at ease and may provide an opportunity for you to gauge her mental state.
Document Everything: Keep a record of what you’ve heard, including dates and times, especially if the situation escalates. This can be useful later if you need to take further action.
Talk to Your Other Roommates: See if they heard anything and get their perspective. Sharing the experience might help you decide what to do next and make everyone feel more secure.
Consider Reporting: If the situation continues to feel dangerous or if you hear more screaming or violence, it’s important to prioritize safety. You could reach out to your landlord or campus safety, especially if you feel there is a risk of domestic violence.
Mind Your Boundaries: While it’s important to be concerned for the new roommate, remember that you also need to protect your own well-being. If the situation continues to disturb you, don’t hesitate to set clear boundaries about noise and personal space.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut about whether more action is needed.
Ultimately, while it can be difficult to “mind your business” in situations like this, your safety and comfort in your living space are paramount. Keep monitoring the situation and take action if you feel it’s necessary.