“Never Good Enough” for My Dad
Lately, I’ve been really frustrated with my dad. I put so much effort into my schoolwork, yet he never acknowledges it. Instead, he only focuses on the grades that aren’t A’s. There was a time in freshman year when I studied hard for my finals and got all A’s except for one B+. Instead of celebrating my achievements, he only complained about that B+, and it broke me. I ended up in tears because it felt like all my hard work was overshadowed by just one grade.
Now, every time he mentions a grade that’s below an A, he says, “What, are you going to cry now?” And yes, I often do cry because it triggers me so much. I can handle the criticism, but that remark is the last straw for me. I work really hard in school, and it hurts deeply that my efforts go unnoticed, while only my mistakes are highlighted. It often feels like he says those things to belittle or embarrass me.
I’ve always been a self-motivated student, managing straight A’s and AP classes without my parents having to remind me about homework or studying. And yet, he’s never offered an apology; instead, he just tells me to “stop being upset.” He labels me as dramatic, insisting I’m crying over nothing. I’ve honestly never heard him apologize to me, my sister, or my mom.
I don’t know why I crave his validation so much. Normally, I don’t care about what others think, but when someone makes me feel small and stupid, it really gets to me. I might regret posting this later, but I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It’s clear that you put in a lot of effort and care deeply about your work, so it’s understandable that you would feel hurt when your achievements aren’t acknowledged. It can be really tough when it seems like only the negatives are recognized, especially from someone whose opinion matters to you.
It sounds like your dad might not realize how his words affect you, and that can be frustrating. It’s not fair to dismiss your feelings or call you dramatic when you’re simply expressing hurt. You deserve recognition for all the hard work you do, and it’s okay to want validation from your parents.
Have you thought about having a conversation with him about how his comments make you feel? It might help to express that you appreciate his support but need him to recognize your efforts as well. If that’s too difficult right now, maybe journaling or talking to a friend could help you process everything. Remember, your feelings are valid, and you’re not alone in this. Be kind to yourself!