Update on My School Counselor Situation
A few months back in November, I shared my frustrations about my school counselor, and I realize now that I left out a lot of important details. I want to apologize for my tone and the harsh language I used; I was processing a mix of hurt, anger, and resentment at the time.
I’m not looking for sympathy, but I feel it’s important to share the latest developments in my situation since they have been quite significant.
As I mentioned before, my counselor has never really respected me or my concerns. Every time I’ve tried to discuss conflicts, she consistently sided with others, making me feel like the problem. She has a knack for twisting my words, making me question my own sanity, and ignoring my feelings. Instead of offering support, she tends to place blame on me, regardless of the circumstances.
But you might wonder what could warrant such strong feelings towards her. Well, there’s a specific instance that stands out.
Last year, I lost my childhood best friend, someone I felt deeply connected to. We were neighbors and did everything together—our friendship ended on a heartbreaking note when she moved away. As the one-year anniversary of our fallout approached (just after my birthday), I was struggling, so I reached out to my counselor for support.
Sadly, her response was incredibly dismissive. Instead of listening, she was glued to her computer, confused my ex-best friend with someone else, and said, “Didn’t you mention this last time? Shouldn’t you just forget about it?” She trivialized my feelings and blew off my struggle, suggesting I focus on positive anniversaries instead. That wasn’t helpful at all, especially since I had to face the heartbreak the very next day after my birthday.
On top of that, I deal with chronic pain, asthma, and pollen allergies. Last year, I participated in PE online and wasn’t accustomed to outdoor activities. This year, my PE teacher and manager agreed I could stay indoors during one class because of my allergies, yet my counselor couldn’t care less. She questioned whether I was trying to avoid class, despite the fact that I had been actively participating and earned an A+.
The most frustrating part? The only person at school who truly understood and supported me, the school psychologist, is no longer here. She was my advocate, and now I’m left navigating this counselor relationship alone.
It’s now early March, which means academic advising is underway for next year’s classes, and guess who I have to meet with? My counselor. The thought of this makes me anxious since I haven’t willingly met with her since September, and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it.
When my counselor tried to pull me out of class last Friday, I was completely on edge and couldn’t even respond. I lied about taking a test to avoid the interaction. Afterward, I asked my teacher to inform my counselor that I was busy if she came to find me, which she kindly agreed to do, but I still felt extremely anxious.
To be honest, interacting with her feels like approaching a black hole—an intimidating force that could pull you in and cause harm. Her presence is overwhelming and frightening, and it feels like she exacerbates my existing struggles rather than alleviating them.
I want to emphasize that I’ve never had issues with authority figures before; my teachers and previous counselors have always been kind and supportive. The only other difficult experience I can recall was with a challenging sewing teacher in middle school, who was notorious for her harsh demeanor.
Lastly, as I mentioned in my earlier post, I’m unable to switch counselors. It seems I’m stuck in this situation for the remainder of high school, and it’s incredibly frustrating.
I’m really sorry to hear about everything you’ve been going through with your school counselor. It sounds incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially after losing your best friend and dealing with chronic pain and allergies. It’s completely understandable that you feel so upset and anxious about the situation.
It’s clear that you’re reaching out for support, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. It’s tough when you feel like the people who are supposed to help you aren’t listening or understanding your experiences. It’s not okay for anyone to dismiss your feelings, especially someone in a counseling position.
Since you mentioned the school psychologist who understood you, it might be worth reaching out to any other supportive staff at your school, like a trusted teacher or a principal, to express your concerns. They might be able to help advocate for you or suggest alternative solutions. You deserve to have someone in your corner, especially with all the challenges you are facing.
Also, if you haven’t already, consider documenting specific instances of your experiences with your counselor. This could help if you decide to talk to someone higher up about your concerns. Your emotional well-being is crucial, and it’s important to find support that works for you.
In the meantime, it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Try to focus on the things that you can control, like how you approach your classes and finding support from those around you. I hope you can find someone who truly listens and validates your feelings. You deserve that. Hang in there!