That moment when you realize he might not want you anymore. It’s been over two months since we last talked, except for those brief face-to-face encounters where he says it’s due to his new job. I want to trust him—he’s such a nice guy and I truly love him—but I can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t feel the same about me. I wish I had never kissed him; it feels like that’s what changed everything. He said there were no boundaries, so of course, I crossed a line. This isn’t the first time I’ve found myself in this situation, and I can’t help but wonder why I struggle to maintain a stable, happy relationship. Is it me? If it is, I’d do anything to change, to become everything you want. Just please don’t leave me. It wasn’t long ago he told me he wanted to explore all of me, piece by piece, and now I feel like I can’t even send a text without worrying I’m intruding or interrupting something so much more significant. I feel like I have no value to him or to anyone else, and I’m the reason everyone seems to drift away from me.
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this school is a prison.
This school feels like a confinement.
It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time, and it’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed in a situation like this. Relationships can be complicated, especially when mixed signals and feelings come into play. It’s important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to want clarity and connection.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-blame when things don’t go as expected, but relationships are a two-way street. If he has been distant, it could be due to various reasons, including his new job, which might be taking up a lot of his time and focus. That doesn’t reflect your worth or value.
Before making any drastic changes to who you are, remember that you deserve to be loved for the real you, not someone else’s ideal. Open communication can sometimes help clarify feelings, so if you’re comfortable, consider sharing your concerns with him. It’s possible he may not even realize how his actions are affecting you.
Above all, take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you. You’re not alone in this, and there are ways to heal and grow from these experiences.