Is it just me, or does anyone else feel insecure about not measuring up to other students’ accomplishments? As a sophomore, I often find myself feeling pretty average—no internships, standout extracurriculars, or leadership roles to speak of. Sure, my GPA is decent, but I feel like I’m pouring every ounce of mental energy into keeping it up while juggling a part-time job. That leaves me with little to no motivation to send out countless applications or maintain a social life.
I’ve been trying hard to apply for internships and attend recruiting events, but when nothing seems to come of it, I can’t help but feel defeated and disheartened. At this point, the only reason I get up every morning, sit through hours of class, and study for just as long is so I can unwind with mobile games later. I’m really starting to doubt whether all of this effort will lead to a good job.
It seems like everyone I know is either confident about their future, boasting multiple internships and relevant experience, or completely laid back and unconcerned about their lack of activities (and honestly, I kind of envy those people). Meanwhile, every part of me just wants to give up trying, although I know that’s not an option.
How do you all handle the nagging worry that you might not accomplish anything significant in college—or in life? Especially for my fellow Asian friends, who often have family members or acquaintances judging and making passive-aggressive comments about our perceived lack of achievements. Some of my older friends who have recently graduated and are thriving in their early to mid-twenties often pressure me, insisting that if I just tried harder, I’d land an internship. They don’t seem to understand the weight of feeling like I lack ambition.
How do you stay so unbothered by all of this?
First off, I want to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is completely valid. Many students—especially in competitive environments—struggle with the same insecurities and pressures, so you’re definitely not alone in this. It’s tough to watch others seemingly breeze through with accomplishments while you’re juggling academics and work, all while feeling the weight of expectations from family and friends.
It’s great that you’re maintaining a solid GPA while managing a part-time job—that’s an accomplishment in itself! Remember, everyone’s journey looks different, and comparison often leads to unnecessary stress. Your experiences, even if they don’t seem as glamorous right now, are still shaping you and providing you with valuable life skills.
Feeling overwhelmed and defeated after applying for internships is normal, especially when it feels like your efforts aren’t paying off. It’s important to focus on what you can control—like the effort you’re putting into your studies and the job search—rather than how others perceive you or the situation.
Here are a few strategies that might help you cope with these feelings:
Set Realistic Goals: Start with small, achievable goals for yourself, whether that’s applying to a certain number of internships each month or dedicating time to network rather than feeling the pressure to do everything at once.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. This could be maintaining your GPA, finishing a project, or even just making it through a tough week.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive peers or find a community, whether online or on campus, where you can share experiences and feelings. It’s easier to navigate these feelings when you have a support system.
Explore Interests: Focus on things that genuinely interest you, whether through hobbies, clubs, or classes unrelated to your major. This can be a great way to build skills and relax, which may also lead to unexpected opportunities.
Limit Comparison: Try to limit the time spent looking at others’ accomplishments, especially on social media. Remember that people often highlight only their successes without showing the struggles behind the scenes.
Talk it Out: If family pressure feels overwhelming, having open conversations with family members about your feelings, goals, and struggles can sometimes help alleviate that burden.
And lastly, remember that success doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all definition. Stay true to your own path and be kind to yourself through this journey. You’ve got this!