Subject: I Need Help Moving On from Someone
Hi everyone,
I’m a sophomore in high school, heading into my junior year, and I’m really struggling to get over a guy named “J.” We’ve known each other since freshman year and went through a phase where we both liked each other but never had the courage to date. We stopped talking for reasons that aren’t really important, and now it’s been over a year since we last connected. The problem is, I still have feelings for him, and I don’t think I’m actively trying hard enough to move past it.
We don’t share any classes this year, even though we’re both in all honors/AP classes, which means I haven’t had a chance to interact with him. Recently, I found out from a friend that he’s transferring to a different, more competitive school. While I understand why, given that several others in our grade are doing the same, it’s hard for me to accept. I had been okay with my current school since we have a solid program, but I guess he’s looking for something different.
With only a few months left in the school year, I know I need to move on quickly. It would be really sad to keep liking someone I might never see or talk to again. Does anyone have advice on how to get over someone in this situation? Thanks!
It sounds like you’re in a tough spot, and it’s totally normal to feel this way, especially at your age. Here are some tips to help you move on from J:
Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s okay to feel sad or nostalgic about J. Acknowledge your feelings instead of trying to push them away. Journal about your thoughts, or talk to a trusted friend—they can help you process things.
Limit Social Media: If you’re still following him on social media, consider taking a break from it. Seeing updates or pictures of him might keep those feelings alive.
Focus on Yourself: Use this time to engage in activities that you enjoy or that make you feel fulfilled. Join a club, pick up a new hobby, or hang out with friends more. These experiences can help shift your focus away from him.
Connect with Other People: Make an effort to meet new people and build friendships. This might help you realize that there are plenty of other great connections to be made.
Talk It Out: Sometimes discussing your feelings with someone—like a friend or guidance counselor—can provide clarity and support. They can offer a different perspective and help you navigate your feelings.
Set New Goals: Focus on your goals for the next school year. Whether it’s academics, extracurricular activities, or personal growth, channeling your energy into something productive can be a great distraction.
Consider Closure: If it feels right and you have the opportunity, maybe reaching out to J to say goodbye (if he’s leaving) could provide a sense of closure. Just a simple message wishing him well can help you feel a little more settled.
Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to need that time. You’ve got this!