What do you do when genuinely nice people don’t seem to like you? It’s one thing when it’s the rude or unkind individuals; it’s much harder to let it go when it’s the people you respect who are distancing themselves. That really makes you question yourself.
I had a group of friends who, back in 9th grade, suddenly decided to cut ties with me, and here I am in 11th grade, still feeling the effects of that rejection. Sure, some of those friends were superficial, but others were truly kind individuals.
I’ve been working on myself for the past two and a half years, and while I’ve made some progress, I still don’t fully understand what went wrong. I’ve always tried to be a good person—maybe a little quirky and perhaps I unintentionally made some people uncomfortable, but I never set out to hurt anyone. It stings to feel like your kindness goes unrecognized.
Even those with unkind attitudes have their own circles, so it’s confusing to be left out. My few close friends are just as puzzled as I am about my lack of acceptance in school.
It’s easy to dismiss high school as a tough time and tell yourself it’s almost over. I get that, but it feels important to me to understand this situation before I leave.
I really hope I’m not one of those people who others think, “She seems so nice; I wonder why she has no friends,” only to drop out of my life without a clear explanation. I’ve encountered someone like that before, and although I tried to share my thoughts, I don’t think they really heard me.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s incredibly tough when you feel like you’ve put in the effort to be a good person, and yet things don’t seem to work out socially. First off, it’s important to recognize that the dynamics of high school can be really complicated and not always a reflection of who you are as a person. People’s perceptions can be influenced by so many factors, from their own insecurities to group dynamics, and it doesn’t always have to do with you.
It sounds like you’ve already achieved some personal growth over the past couple of years, which is significant. While it’s natural to want to fit in and be liked, sometimes the focus can shift towards finding the right people who truly appreciate you for who you are rather than trying to please everyone. It might help to seek out clubs or activities that align with your interests where like-minded people gather. Building connections around shared passions can lead to more genuine friendships.
Also, consider talking to a trusted adult or counselor about your feelings. They can provide perspective and help you navigate these feelings of isolation. Remember that self-worth isn’t defined by others’ opinions, and it’s okay to embrace your uniqueness. It’s a journey, and while it might feel lonely at times, the right connections will come in time. Keep being kind and true to yourself!