I’m a freshman and I think a senior is harassing me. I’m not sure what to do about it.
For some context, I met this senior in our gym class during 6th period. Initially, we saw each other three times a week, but thanks to a schedule change after the first semester, I only have to see him twice a week now, which is somewhat of a relief.
At the beginning of the year, we became acquaintances. I needed someone to wave at and chat with as I was transitioning from a private middle school to a much larger public high school, where the social dynamics were pretty overwhelming. He seemed approachable, and after we got paired up in PE, we exchanged names and started to acknowledge each other in the hallways.
Lately, though, things have become really uncomfortable. I’ve noticed that he seems overly eager to say hello to me. Instead of just waving like before, he now walks in my direction until I notice him, and I feel awkward as I quickly wave and rush off to class. I didn’t think much of it at first since our interactions were casual, but now it feels different.
Outside of gym class, I might see him once or twice a week. On gym days, I’ve had some unsettling encounters. For example, one time he stood over me while I was looking at my phone, and I only noticed him when I looked up. He just waved and walked away afterward.
Today was particularly uncomfortable for me. When my friends and I were in the courtyard playing tennis, he clearly tracked my movements. My friend Nicole even mentioned that he “couldn’t take his eyes off me” and was looking me up and down.
I can’t help but wonder if I’m misinterpreting his behavior. Maybe he just wants to be friends or is trying to get closer, but I’m really not interested. I’ve made it clear that I have a partner, whom I care deeply about, yet he continues to act this way.
I’m confused about whether he’s seeking friendship or if this crosses the line into harassment. Should I talk to an adult at school about this and risk escalating the situation? Should I inform my parents? Or am I just overreacting? I really need some advice on what to do. I’ve shared my concerns with my partner, but they’re equally unsure since we’re both freshmen navigating this.
Also, I feel it’s important to mention that I’m 14 and female.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s completely valid to feel uncomfortable in a situation like this, and it’s important to take your feelings seriously. Here are some steps you might consider:
Trust Your Instincts: If this situation is making you uncomfortable, it’s important to acknowledge that feeling. It’s okay to want space and to not engage with someone who makes you uneasy.
Set Boundaries: If you feel safe doing so, try to communicate your discomfort directly to him. You can say something like, “I appreciate the greetings, but I prefer to keep things casual and not engage too much. I need my space.” This might help establish boundaries.
Talk to Someone You Trust: It could be beneficial to talk to a trusted adult, like a teacher, school counselor, or parent. They can provide support and guidance on how to handle this situation. Letting someone know what you’re experiencing can also help ensure your safety.
Document Your Experiences: Keep a record of the incidents that make you uncomfortable—dates, times, and descriptions of what happened. This documentation can be useful if you choose to report the behavior later.
Consider Reporting It: If his behavior continues or escalates, it may be worth reporting it to school authorities. They are trained to handle these kinds of situations, and it can help ensure that both you and the other students are safe.
Stay Close to Friends: Whenever possible, stick with friends in social settings, especially in gym or shared spaces. Having others around can help you feel safer and provide support if you need it.
Take Care of Yourself: Engage in activities that make you feel good and confident. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and focusing on your interests can help you navigate this tough situation.
Remember, you are not overreacting. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to prioritize your comfort and safety. You deserve to feel secure in your school environment.