Do I dislike college, or is it just my major that I can’t stand?
Back in high school, I genuinely enjoyed school. I thrived on learning, embraced challenges, and generally performed well. Sure, there were subjects I found difficult, but I managed to graduate in the top 5% of my class while juggling a variety of extracurricular activities, a job, and hundreds of volunteer hours. I didn’t struggle much with multitasking—at least, it seems that way compared to now. I even earned a full scholarship to my college’s honors program.
I chose to major in Civil Engineering, even though I feel more at home in the humanities and social sciences. I’m not one to shy away from a challenge; I believe college should push you to step out of your comfort zone and explore new areas. I’ve gained valuable knowledge in STEM subjects that I knew nothing about a year ago.
However, as a sophomore, I’m facing some serious challenges. I have friends who may not think highly of themselves but seem to grasp class material so much better. They manage to earn Bs while I’m struggling to scrape by with Ds. Despite attending numerous office hours, studying late into the night, collaborating with TAs, and trying to learn from my friends, my grades continue to tank. I often find myself dreading classes because I feel lost and utterly exhausted. My GPA is the lowest it’s ever been, and I can’t shake the feeling of being inadequate. I’ve never considered myself “naturally smart” — I know I tend to learn slowly and need to invest far more effort to grasp concepts, especially in math and science.
I’m at a crossroads now. My grades are slipping, and the professors’ advice typically boils down to “just study harder.” I’ve never felt this defeated in academics before. On top of that, I’m uncertain about what I want to do with this degree. I chose it mainly for its versatility, demand, and potential for a good salary.
Truth be told, financial stability has been a significant factor in pursuing a STEM degree. Growing up in a low-income household has instilled a fear that no matter how hard I work, I might not earn enough in the end. With only a few years left until graduation, I’m feeling lost and in desperate need of guidance.
It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and frustrated. It’s important to recognize that what you’re experiencing is not uncommon among college students, especially in challenging majors like Civil Engineering.
You’ve already demonstrated a strong work ethic and a passion for learning by excelling in high school and seeking help in college. The struggles you’re facing could stem from several factors, including a mismatch between your major and your interests or strengths, the rigor of the coursework, or even the pressures of financial expectations. It’s great that you’re pushing yourself to learn new things, but it’s also okay to question if this path is right for you.
Consider taking a step back to evaluate your major. Reflect on whether you’re genuinely interested in Civil Engineering or if it’s primarily a financial decision. It might be worth exploring other majors that align better with your strengths and passions, even if that means taking a little more time to graduate. Remember, it’s essential to find something that resonates with you, as this could lead to greater fulfillment and success in the long run.
If changing your major seems daunting, you could also look into taking elective courses in areas you find more engaging. This could provide some balance and a break from the intensity of your core engineering classes while allowing you to explore other interests.
Additionally, it’s crucial to prioritize your mental health. Feeling exhausted and defeated can take a toll on your motivation and well-being. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself outside of academics—whether that’s spending time with friends, engaging in hobbies, or seeking support from a counselor at your college.
College is often a time of discovery, and it’s perfectly normal to reassess your goals and direction. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and reaching out for help, whether from academic advisors, support services, or peers, can make a significant difference. Don’t hesitate to advocate for yourself and explore the path that feels right for you, even if it looks different than what you initially envisioned. Hang in there, and remember that it’s okay to seek the path that leads to both success and happiness.