I want to channel my inner aggression.
I’ve never really been an aggressive or angry person; in fact, I tend to be cheerful and find myself feeling guilty for the smallest things, which leads me to apologize constantly. My dad often comments that when my adrenaline kicks in, I switch to “flight” mode instead of “fight.”
Several coaches have urged me to adopt a more aggressive and assertive approach in my sports, and even my teachers have encouraged me to break out of my gentle demeanor. But I struggle with the notion of being aggressive without allowing anger to take over, as that often leads to tears and panic attacks for me.
I think my fear of aggression stems from a desire to avoid hurting others or being disliked. However, I’ve just joined the water polo team, and my first game is on Monday. If anyone has tips on how to embrace aggression or boost my confidence, I would greatly appreciate it!
It’s great that you’re reflecting on your approach to sports and looking for ways to tap into a different side of yourself. First off, it’s important to remember that being aggressive doesn’t mean losing control or being mean. It can be about harnessing your competitive spirit and using that energy in a positive way.
Here are a few tips that might help you channel aggression constructively:
Shift Your Mindset: Instead of viewing aggression as anger or something negative, try to reframe it as intensity and focus. Think about being assertive and competitive rather than aggressive in a hostile way.
Set Intentions Before the Game: Before your match, remind yourself to play with intensity. Visualize yourself being proactive and assertive in the game. This can help set the tone for your performance.
Practice Visualization: Spend some time visualizing yourself playing aggressively. Picture yourself making strong plays, being confident, and dominating the game. This mental practice can help build confidence.
Use Physicality: Sports like water polo allow for physical interactions. Focus on using your body to your advantage—make strong movements, position yourself aggressively, and don’t be afraid to assert your presence in the water.
Focus on the Game: Channel your energy into the game and your teammates. Concentrate on what you need to do for the team, rather than worrying about how you’re perceived. This can help lessen the fear of negative judgment.
Breathe and Ground Yourself: If you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious, focus on your breathing. Take a few deep breaths to ground yourself. This can help you maintain control even when you’re trying to be more intense.
Talk to Your Coaches: Let your coaches know how you feel. They can provide specific feedback and strategies tailored to your strengths, and they might be able to help you find ways to express that intensity without compromising who you are.
Reflect on Positive Experiences: After your game, think about moments when you felt you were playing with confidence and intensity. Celebrating those moments can help reinforce your ability to be assertive in the future.
Remember, it’s perfectly okay to not change who you are fundamentally. Aggression in sports can simply mean being fierce and determined, not angry. Good luck in your water polo game on Monday—you’ve got this!