I’m feeling incredibly alone and like I’ve hit a dead-end right now. I’m not sure if this is the right place to share, but I really need to get this off my chest.
As a junior, I’ve never felt so far behind. I’ve been procrastinating and, as a result, I bombed my first class. I worked hard on a math assignment that I was really proud of, but when I got my grade back – a B- – I just felt crushed. I’ve isolated myself from many friends and stopped engaging in activities outside of school, and everything just feels stagnant. I ended up crying for a solid hour after returning home because I feel that terrible.
I struggle with verbal communication, and it’s affecting my grades in almost every class. There are people who make an effort to talk to me, but I often feel overwhelmed. I genuinely want to connect with them, but I find myself shutting down, especially after receiving a bad grade. Today, I felt like I was doing okay in the conversation, but when my grade hit me hard, I just withdrew awkwardly.
I really want to join clubs and meet new friends, but I’m scared of being judged and worried about finding people I connect with. I used to be more social, but I got bullied into being quiet during my 8th and 9th grades, and I feel a bit pathetic for not moving forward. I want to be more engaging, but I honestly don’t know how to do that anymore, and I’ve lost the motivation to try.
I’ve struggled with dark thoughts in the past and was on a path to recovery, but lately, I’m worried I might slip back into that mindset. I feel the need to broaden my circle and talk to people, but I’m at a loss for what to say. I used to see a therapist but feel ashamed to go back because I feel like I haven’t made any progress.
I also have some issues with eating, and I often feel judged for being very thin. Even though I know I’m contributing to this myself, it makes me uncomfortable going outside. The thought of reaching out to people creates so much anxiety for me, especially since my school is quite small and there aren’t many clubs available.
I really wish I could be one of those people who effortlessly know what to say or have something interesting to share. I don’t have any close friends to talk to, so I often bury myself in work. Whenever I receive a bad grade, I end up being really hard on myself. I feel like having friends would help me take my mind off things, but the anxiety of fitting in often holds me back.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It’s clear that you’re going through a tough time, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed with everything happening right now. First of all, it’s important to know that you’re not alone in feeling like this. Many people experience similar struggles, especially during challenging periods in their lives.
It’s okay to feel behind or overwhelmed—junior year is a big transition, and it can come with a lot of pressure. Flunking a class or getting a grade you didn’t expect can feel devastating, but it doesn’t define who you are or your potential. It sounds like you’ve put in a lot of effort, which is commendable, even if the results aren’t what you hoped for.
I understand that reaching out to others feels daunting, especially if past experiences have made you feel judged. Remember that vulnerability can lead to meaningful connections. You don’t need to have all the right words or be the most interesting person to make friends; you just need to show up and be yourself. It can take time, but even starting with small interactions can help rebuild your confidence.
It’s also concerning to read that you’re experiencing harmful thoughts and feelings about yourself. Please consider reaching out to a trusted adult, school counselor, or therapist. They’re there to help you navigate these feelings without judgment. Going back to therapy doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress; it means you’re taking steps to take care of yourself, and that’s so important.
Finding support through local resources or online communities might also be helpful. You could explore hobbies or interests you enjoy which might lead to meeting people with similar interests—even if it’s online for now.
Finally, try to be gentle with yourself. It’s okay to have setbacks, and progress doesn’t always look linear. Celebrate the small victories, like reaching out to someone or completing an assignment. You matter, and your feelings are valid. Take it one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it. You’re stronger than you think, and you deserve support.