What do you do when genuinely nice people don’t seem to like you? It’s one thing to shrug off negativity from unpleasant people, but when kindness is absent from their rejection, it really makes you question yourself.
Back in 9th grade, I had a circle of friends who later cut me off, and even now in 11th grade, they still won’t associate with me. Some of those friends may have been fake, but others were truly kind-hearted individuals.
For the past two and a half years of high school, I’ve been working on self-improvement. I’ve made progress, yet I still don’t understand what it was that upset them. I wasn’t a bad person—just perhaps a little different. I’ve always strived to be kind, and it hurts when that kindness seems to go unappreciated.
It’s interesting how even those with negative traits can find their own kindred spirits. Meanwhile, I’m left confused about what’s wrong with me. Even my closest friends can’t seem to pinpoint it either, and they’re puzzled by my lack of acceptance among peers at school.
It’s easy to say, “High school is just high school” or “You’ll get through it,” and while I know that’s true, I feel as though I need to unravel this before I move on.
I really hope I’m not the type of person who people feel pity for—someone they think, “She’s so nice, why doesn’t she have friends?” only to distance themselves later with no explanation. I’ve encountered someone like that before, but I don’t believe I have issues on that level. I tried to explain myself to them, but I didn’t feel heard.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. High school can be an incredibly tough and confusing time, especially when it feels like you’re doing your best to be kind but still not connecting with others. It’s important to remember that friendships can be complex, and sometimes it’s not even about you—people change, grow apart, or get caught up in their own lives.
It sounds like you’ve done a lot of self-reflection over the past couple of years, which is already a big step. It’s great that you’re trying to improve yourself, but it’s also crucial to remember that you deserve friendship from people who appreciate you for who you are. Not everyone will click with you, and that’s okay.
One suggestion is to focus on finding clubs or activities that align with your interests. Meeting people through shared passions can lead to more genuine connections. Also, consider giving yourself some grace. Everyone feels like they don’t fit in at times, and just because some people have distanced themselves doesn’t define your worth or the kind of friend you can be.
Lastly, if you have a few close friends, lean on them for support. Sometimes, talking things out together can provide insight and reassurance. Keep being kind and true to yourself; the right people will recognize and appreciate that. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels that way sometimes.