I’m tired of popularity defining everyone

I’m frustrated with how popularity seems to dictate everything in school.

I went to a tiny middle school where everyone knew each other, and cliques were virtually nonexistent. Sure, there was some mild drama, but nothing serious. When I transitioned to high school, it was a different story. With students coming from numerous schools, barely anyone was familiar with one another until orientation day. Out of 500 students, probably a hundred different schools contributed to our class.

Right from the start, freshman year’s student government election became more about “who delivers the funniest speech” and “who’s got the most popularity.” As someone who kept my head down and focused on my studies, I didn’t think much of it—until I saw athletes getting voted in simply because they played football. It’s frustrating to see them take on roles without actually doing any work. They’re among the laziest people and yet they’re supposed to represent our class.

Sophomore year was even worse. Once again, the popular kids got elected. Out of the nine members, only two are genuinely committed to their responsibilities; the others seem to be in it just for the title. It’s exhausting to see student government turn into a popularity contest once more.

But it doesn’t stop there; the whole school environment feels like a popularity contest. This year, three of my friends distanced themselves from me because I wasn’t popular enough. While I do have a few friends who are well-known, they often seem to use me and then discard me as soon as someone more popular walks by. They barely engage with me, opting instead to act chummy with whoever is on top of the social ladder. It’s frustrating to watch them put on a facade of friendship purely to elevate their status.

What’s even more disheartening is that often, the so-called “popular kids” aren’t even particularly talented or skilled. Their popularity seems to come from luck, looks, or just being friends with someone else who is popular. I actually preferred freshman year when friend groups were more distinct and there was less emphasis on popularity. Now, it feels like you’re either part of the popular crowd or completely overlooked.

I’m just exhausted by the way popularity defines who we are. Can someone please change the high school experience for the better?

One Reply to “I’m tired of popularity defining everyone”

  1. I totally get what you’re saying. It’s frustrating to see how much emphasis is placed on popularity rather than character or ability. In a smaller school, it felt like everyone had room to be themselves and connect in a more genuine way. High school can turn into this weird social game where it seems like being liked is more important than actually getting things done or being a good person.

    It’s disheartening when student government becomes a popularity contest instead of a platform for voices that truly want to represent their peers. I mean, leadership should be about dedication and making a difference, not just being the loudest or the most well-liked.

    Friendships can be so fickle in this environment, too. It’s tough to have friends who only want to associate with you based on status rather than genuine connection. It sounds like you’re finding out who your real friends are, and that’s a good thing, even if it hurts to lose some of them.

    While it seems like the culture is really entrenched, remember that not everyone values popularity. There are others out there who might feel the same way you do. Focus on cultivating the friendships and connections that matter to you, and keep being true to yourself. High school has its challenges, but it’s also a time to learn about what real relationships look like. Keep your head up!

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