New Roommate Situation Feels… Off and a Bit Disturbing
I’m living in a four-person apartment where there are two private rooms on one side, a shared living room and kitchen in the middle, and two more rooms on the other side. The room next to mine has been empty all semester after my friend transferred, but yesterday, a new girl moved in. I didn’t get a chance to chat with her, and everything seemed fine—until last night.
I typically go to sleep around 9:30 or 10:00 PM, but I was startled awake by loud banging on my door. Initially, I thought I was imagining it, but the noise kept going. It briefly stopped when I didn’t respond, only to start again with the same intensity. Groggy and half-asleep, I eventually opened the door to find the new roommate standing there. She simply looked at me and asked, “Were you sleeping?” Uhh, yeah? I asked what she needed, and she just replied, “Nevermind.” If you didn’t need anything, why were you banging on my door like that, especially with my lights off?
I tried to go back to sleep, but around 1:30 AM, I woke up to her bringing a guy into the apartment. They were loud at first, but then it escalated into a full-blown argument—lots of swearing, accusations of cheating, and her denial of it all. This went on for about an hour. Then things took a darker turn. I heard her say, “Let me go,” and him threatening, “I’m gonna beat you up again.” Then there was a loud thump, and I think he hit her. I thought I heard some crying, but I can’t be certain.
He ended up staying the entire night. I finally fell asleep around 3:00 AM, but woke up again at 4:00 AM, and it sounded like they were having sex. I mean, do what you want, but it’s all so confusing. One minute they’re fighting and accusing each other, then suddenly they’re being intimate after what sounded like a genuinely dangerous situation. The entire thing just felt really off.
I’m at a loss for what to do next. This feels beyond just a typical “annoying roommate” scenario. Should I say something? Mind my own business? Report it? This is a lot to deal with on her first night.
It sounds like you had a really unsettling experience, and it’s completely understandable to feel concerned. It’s important to prioritize your safety and comfort in your own home. Given the potential for domestic conflict and the alarming nature of the sounds you heard, here are a few steps you could consider:
Assess the Situation: If the loud arguments continue or escalate, it might be a sign of a volatile situation that could affect your safety.
Talk to Her: If you feel comfortable, you might try to have a calm conversation with the new roommate. You could express your concern in a non-confrontational way, like acknowledging that it sounded like a rough night and ask if she’s okay. This could open the door for her to share her feelings or seek support.
Consult Your Other Roommates: If you have other roommates, it could be helpful to discuss what happened with them. It’s possible they heard or noticed something too.
Set Boundaries: If the behavior continues, consider establishing some boundaries around noise levels, especially at night. You have a right to a peaceful living environment.
Do What Feels Right: If you feel unsafe or if things escalate further, it might be worth contacting your apartment management or authorities. Trust your instincts—if something feels off, it often is.
Take Care of Yourself: Make sure to look after your own mental well-being. This situation is likely stressful, and it’s important to find ways to de-stress and create a sense of safety in your home.
Remember, you don’t have to navigate this alone, and seeking help is always an option.