How to Make Friends in College, A Guide

How to Make Friends in College: A Comprehensive Guide

I decided to create this post after noticing many young people, especially in this subreddit and others, struggling to make connections in this digital age. I recently wrote a long response to someone facing this dilemma, and while that post was deleted, I still wanted to share my thoughts here in hopes that others might find them useful.

Looking back, there was a time in my college experience when I had very few friends. After some reflection, I’ve compiled the strategies that helped me build a close-knit group of over a dozen friends. Here’s what worked for me:

1. Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

It might sound cliché, but being around others helps you strengthen your social skills. Engaging with people doesn’t come naturally at first; it takes practice. Start with low-pressure environments, like going to the gym. Then gradually challenge yourself by attending study sessions, career fairs, or volunteering opportunities where conversations are likely to happen.

A great way to rapidly develop your social skills is to work as a cashier at a grocery store. This role requires you to interact with numerous strangers daily, and by being intentional about reaching out to them, you’ll practice your conversational skills. For instance, when welcoming customers, ask them questions like, “How are you today?” Listen actively to their responses and engage based on what they share. This way, you help shift the conversation focus back on them, which can ease your nerves.

Example:

Let’s say a woman in her thirties comes to your register:

“Hi, how are you? Do you have your loyalty card?”

“Yes, it’s 12345.”

“Great, thank you! And how’s your day going so far?”

“Not too exciting, but I’m looking forward to my son’s play tomorrow night!”

Follow up with questions about the play or her son. By actively listening, you’ll create a natural flow and keep the conversation going.

It’s normal to be clumsy at first—practicing in this low-stakes environment allows you to improve without severe repercussions when you stumble.

2. Explore Your Interests

Think deeply about what truly interests you. Jot down a few areas you’re passionate about, whether career-related or just hobbies. Once you have your list, check your university’s club directory for organizations that align with your interests. Most colleges offer a wide range of clubs, fostering communities around numerous hobbies and ideas.

Two fundamental truths stand out:

1. No matter how niche your interest is, there are others out there who share it.
2. Everyone craves a sense of community.

With this knowledge, attend club meetings, introduce yourself, and engage with fellow members. Familiarize yourself with club officers and ask about events. This will help you meet more people and feel more connected.

3. Be Patient but Proactive

Remember, college is an incredible opportunity to forge friendships, both personal and professional. However, it’s essential to strike a balance: while you shouldn’t rush the process, don’t procrastinate either.

Don’t feel pressured to become best friends with the first person who shows you attention. Genuine connections take time to develop. Meet various individuals, and don’t pour all your energy into just one. Understand that not everyone you meet will resonate with you, and that’s perfectly okay. While some acquaintances may become good friends, only a few will turn into close friends.

As you build these connections, be patient, allowing them to deepen naturally. If they have an established friend group, embrace the opportunity to meet their friends—social validation makes introductions easier!

Final Thoughts

Making friends in college can be tough, and it often gets harder after graduation. Here are some closing tips:

– Remember the Social Snowball Effect: The fewer friends you have, the harder it is to make more. The more friends you cultivate, the easier it becomes, much like compound interest in finance.