Title: Transitioning From High School to College: Seeking Advice on Socializing
I’ve felt like an outsider throughout high school, and as I prepare to graduate this year, I’m determined to change that in college. During my freshman and sophomore years, I struggled with severe social anxiety, convinced that everyone disliked me. Unfortunately, I experienced two friend groups that turned out to be completely inauthentic, which only added to my feelings of isolation.
To make matters worse, I made some poor choices early on that negatively impacted my reputation. By junior year, when I was finally starting to make progress, some rumors began circulating about me, further damaging my friendships. I ended up spending a lot of my time alone, often reading behind the school during lunch. While I did manage to connect with a few people who understood the truth, I still feel a disconnect, as though there’s an invisible barrier keeping me from forming deeper friendships.
Now, as I head to college next semester, I’m excited for a fresh start, but I’m aware that my social skills may be lacking. I really want to avoid the same pitfalls and build meaningful connections. What strategies can I use to meet new people and foster friendships? How should I go about expressing interest in someone I like? I apologize if these questions seem basic, but I genuinely feel lost and would appreciate any guidance!
First off, it’s important to remember that your experiences in high school don’t define your worth or who you can be in college. College is a fresh start where people often come with open minds and a willingness to connect. Here are some suggestions to help you navigate your transition:
Embrace the Fresh Start: Remind yourself that college is a place where many people are looking to meet new friends. Everyone is in the same boat, away from home and eager to connect. Use this to your advantage!
Get Involved: Join clubs, organizations, or intramural sports that interest you. This will give you opportunities to meet people who share similar passions and create a sense of community. You can also consider volunteering or attending campus events—these environments foster social interaction.
Be Open and Approachable: Work on your body language. Smile and make eye contact when speaking with others. Approachability can go a long way in helping others feel comfortable around you.
Start Small: Don’t feel pressured to make deep connections right away. Start with small talk in classes or around campus. Asking someone about their major or what they think of a class can be a good icebreaker.
Find Your People: Be patient in finding friends. It might take time, but there are countless people at college who will appreciate you for who you are. Focus on building connections with those who reciprocate your interest and values.
Practice Self-Compassion: It’s normal to feel anxious about social interactions, especially after past experiences. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone has their struggles. Celebrate small victories along the way.
Express Interest Thoughtfully: If you’re interested in someone, try to get to know them better first. Ask them to join you for a study session or event you both enjoy. If it feels right, you can gradually express your interest more directly.
Seek Support if Needed: If your anxiety is overwhelming, consider speaking with a counselor. Many colleges offer mental health services that can help you develop coping strategies.
Be Yourself: Authenticity is key. Try not to overthink how others perceive you. Being genuine will attract the right people into your life.
Remember, it’s okay to feel nervous or uncertain—many peers will likely feel the same way. The college experience is about growth, learning, and building connections in a supportive environment. You’ve already shown resilience by getting through high school, so carry that strength into this new chapter!