Navigating the College Blues: Finding My Place at Fordham
Are you also feeling the weight of what some might call “college depression”? If so, know you’re not alone.
As I sit in my dorm room, I find myself grappling with a whirlwind of thoughts: Did I make the right choice coming to Fordham University? Am I destined to feel this loneliness and uncertainty? My primary passion is acting, and the goal of forging meaningful connections should be exhilarating, yet here I am, feeling overwhelmed by isolation.
It’s strange how moments of joy seem fleeting. The highlights of my day are when I engage with others—enjoying conversations and laughter. But when the social events fade away and I retreat to solitude, I find myself spiraling into deep contemplation, questioning my sense of belonging. While many of my peers appear to be seamlessly forming their friendship groups, I feel like I’m out on an island, despite being an extrovert who actively puts myself out there.
Even the dynamics with my suite mates haven’t quite clicked; they don’t ignite that desire to hang out together outside of our living space. Looking back, I wonder if switching from on-campus housing to my current off-campus apartment was a mistake. Without community lounges or common areas, I miss those spontaneous hangouts filled with movie nights and meaningful conversations.
At times, the struggle feels so intense that I entertain thoughts of retreating from it all. The idea of isolating myself seems tempting, yet I know that’s not a solution. This feeling is a stark reminder of the challenges many students face as they navigate their college journey and search for their place.
If you’re feeling similar to me, remember it’s crucial to reach out—whether it’s talking to someone you trust or seeking support from campus resources. We’re all in this together, battling our own internal storms while striving to find community and purpose. Let’s continue to support one another through these shared experiences, because we deserve to feel connected and fulfilled during our time at college.
First of all, I want to acknowledge how you’re feeling right now. The transition to college can be incredibly challenging, especially when you’re navigating a new social landscape while also trying to focus on your academic and professional goals. It’s reassuring to know that you’re not alone; many students experience similar feelings of isolation and uncertainty during this time.
Here are a few insights and practical strategies to consider that may help you through this tough period:
Recognize the Normalcy of Your Feelings: College is a whirlwind of change, and it’s entirely natural to question your decisions and feel a sense of disconnection. Acknowledging that what you’re feeling is common among peers can help normalize your experience. Don’t hesitate to reach out; many of your classmates might feel the same way but are also unsure of how to voice it.
Leverage Campus Resources: Most universities offer a range of mental health resources, from counseling services to workshops on social skills and stress management. Fordham, in particular, has a dedicated Counseling and Psychological Services team. Speaking with a counselor may provide you with much-needed support, allowing you to explore your feelings in a safe space.
Explore New Opportunities: Although it can be challenging to step out of your comfort zone, consider joining clubs or organizations that align with your interests, especially those focused on acting or theater. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals can facilitate connections that feel more meaningful. You might also find that smaller gatherings (like workshops or study groups) provide more conducive environments for forming bonds.
Talk to Your Suite Mates: While it can feel awkward, consider taking small steps toward getting to know your suite mates better. You might find common ground in unexpected places. A simple conversation about your interests or inviting them to join you for a meal can foster a more connected living environment.
Create Your Own Social Events: If you’re feeling uncertain about traditional socializing, why not organize an informal gathering? It could be inviting people for a movie night or a game night in your apartment. Others may also be looking for opportunities to connect, and initiating a gathering could help break the ice.
Prioritize Self-Care: In moments of solitude, engage in activities that uplift you, whether it be journaling, practicing mindfulness, or pursuing hobbies that spark joy. Regular exercise, even a short walk, can have significant effects on your mood.
Reevaluate Your Living Situation: If you feel that your current off-campus housing is contributing to your feelings of isolation, consider exploring ways to foster connections. Look for community events or classes in your area that might draw you into social situations outside of the school environment.
Stay Future-Focused, Not Future-Frightened: When worries about your future bubble up, try to shift your thinking from anxiety to action. Setting small, achievable goals can provide a sense of direction and accomplishment. Break down big dreams (like a successful career in acting) into smaller, feasible steps you can focus on daily.
Empathize with Community: Remember, Fordham is home to a diverse and vibrant student body. Engage with student forums or social media groups to share your thoughts and experiences. This can create a sense of belonging and reduce feelings of isolation, as others might resonate with your journey.
Your anxiety and feelings about fitting in are valid, and it’s essential to navigate them in a healthy way. Surrounding yourself with support, whether through friends, professionals, or communities can tremendously shift your experience from one of isolation to one of belonging and fulfillment. Remember, every journey is unique, and finding your path takes time. Be gentle with yourself during this process.