My friend got accepted into a for-profit school that seems like a scam, but I don’t want to disappoint her. Should I tell her?

Title: Navigating Concerns for a Friend’s For-Profit College Choice: A Thoughtful Approach

When a close friend achieves a significant milestone, such as being accepted into college, it’s natural to feel a sense of pride and excitement. Recently, my friend (22F) received her acceptance letter from a for-profit institution, Berkeley College (not the one in California), marking her first venture into higher education. As a friend, I want to support her, but I also have lingering doubts about the college’s credibility based on my own experiences, leading me to a crossroads of whether to express my concerns.

Here’s the context: after graduating high school with a less-than-stellar GPA, I applied to several colleges, including Berkeley College. They were the only ones that accepted me, offering a place in any major along with a partial tuition scholarship due to my academic history. At the time, I was thrilled, but as I dug deeper, I found their financial aid processes and the overall standing of for-profit colleges to be concerning. Ultimately, I chose my local community college, which provided a solid education and led me to a successful transfer to a reputable four-year university.

Now, with my friend on the verge of starting her own academic journey, I’m torn. I want to share my experiences and the insights I’ve gathered about for-profit institutions, many of which have been criticized for their questionable practices and lack of genuine accreditation. I’ve learned that some of their degrees may hold little value in terms of job prospects or further education, making me apprehensive about my friend’s choices.

However, I’m faced with the dilemma of potentially discouraging her. I understand that the journey to higher education can be daunting, and I don’t want to come off as elitist or undermine her excitement. I can empathize with the fear of being perceived as undeserving of a quality education; I’ve felt that judgment when sharing my community college experience. Yet, what I found was transformative and beneficial, leading to opportunities I had initially thought were out of reach.

So, how do I approach this sensitive situation? Should I voice my concerns about the potential pitfalls of attending a for-profit college, or should I allow her to navigate this path on her own? On one hand, I feel a responsibility to inform her about the realities I uncovered, ensuring she doesn’t end up pouring money into a program that might not serve her well in the long run. On the other hand, there’s a fine line between being a caring friend and inadvertently discouraging her dreams.

Ultimately, I believe it’s crucial to foster an open dialogue. Perhaps I can frame the conversation less about pointing fingers at her choice and more as an opportunity to explore the credibility and long-term implications of the institution she’s considering. By sharing my story, I can highlight the benefits of my community college experience without dismissing her aspirations. My goal is to support her journey while gently pointing her toward making an informed decision.

In conclusion, I am leaning towards offering my perspective, prioritizing my friend’s best interests. It’s important that she feels empowered to assess her options critically without feeling judged or belittled. Education is a personal journey, and I want her to find a path that truly enriches her life. After all, the right choice can make all the difference in her future.

One Reply to “My friend got accepted into a for-profit school that seems like a scam, but I don’t want to disappoint her. Should I tell her?”

  1. It’s great that you’re looking out for your friend’s best interests, and your own experience has given you valuable insights into the potential pitfalls of for-profit educational institutions. When it comes to discussing your concerns with her, it’s essential to approach the topic with sensitivity and an understanding of her perspective, ensuring she feels supported rather than judged. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to navigate this delicate conversation:

    1. Educate Yourself Further

    Before approaching your friend, make sure that you have well-researched information about the specific college she’s interested in and for-profit schools in general. This includes understanding their accreditation, graduation rates, job placement success, and student loan debt statistics. Resources like the Department of Education’s College Navigator, the College Scorecard, or reviews from former students can provide valuable insights.

    2. Create an Open Dialogue

    Start the conversation in a neutral, supportive manner. You might say something like, “I’m really happy for you about getting accepted into Berkeley College. That’s a big deal! Can we chat about your plans?” This sets a positive tone and avoids coming off as immediately critical.

    3. Share Your Experiences as a Personal Story

    When you talk about your own journey, share your personal story without directly comparing it to hers. You might say, “When I was looking at colleges, I was really excited but also felt pressured by my GPA. I considered some options that seemed great at first, but when I dug deeper, I found a lot of things that worried me.” This way, you’re introducing your concern without directly implying her choice is wrong.

    4. Discuss Concerns Gently

    Highlight what you’ve learned about for-profit colleges, focusing on generalizations rather than specifics that might feel personal. You could mention, “I’ve read that some for-profit schools have low graduation rates and high student debt. It makes me wonder how a degree from there could affect job prospects.” This invites her to explore the subject without feeling attacked.

    5. Suggest Exploring Options Together

    Encourage her to research the college, its accreditation, and whether credits are transferable. Offer to help her look into different educational paths, like community colleges or trade schools, that may be more beneficial in the long run. Emphasizing that there are many viable routes to success can help her feel less locked into her decision.

    6. Support Her Decision Regardless

    Ultimately, be prepared to support her regardless of what she decides. If she chooses to attend Berkeley College despite your concerns, it’s vital that she feels you’ll be there for her. You might say, “I respect your decision and I’ll support you no matter what path you choose. I just want to make sure you have all the information you need to feel confident in your choice.”

    7. Monitor the Situation

    If she does decide to go to the school, keep an eye on her progress and experiences. If challenges arise, gently suggest alternative solutions or paths. Reassure her that it’s okay to change course if she finds that her current path isn’t what she expected.

    Conclusion

    By discussing your feelings openly and thoughtfully, you provide your friend with valuable information while still being supportive. Ultimately, she must make the decision that’s best for her, but your guidance can help ensure she is making an informed choice. Remember, your intention is to empower her, not to discourage her dreams.

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