Am I overreacting, or is my advisor genuinely terrible?
I’m a 28-year-old female student in my second semester at a new college (it’s been a journey, to say the least!). My academic advisor, who just started last semester as well, sent me an email requesting to set up a meeting for enrolling in Fall 2025 classes. I quickly secured a spot, but shortly after, I received another email from her. This time, she asked if I would be willing to write a letter of support for an advising award she’s been nominated for. The thing is, I’ve only interacted with her twice, and both times were far from helpful. Honestly, she hasn’t made my experience easier or more enjoyable at all.
In my response, I mentioned that while I wouldn’t mind writing a letter, I didn’t feel our relationship was strong enough for me to accurately reflect her advising skills.
Her reply was pretty nonchalant, saying it was fine and to do my best if I was willing to write it. But honestly, I don’t want to do this, and it’s left me feeling quite frustrated.
I know I might come off as entitled, but it just doesn’t sit right with me that I’m paying for academic advising, and my advisor—who is being compensated for her role—turns around and asks me to write her a letter of support when we barely know each other. Can someone help me make sense of this?
It sounds like you’re feeling really frustrated, and I completely understand why! It’s definitely a strange situation for your advisor to ask you for a letter of support, especially since your interactions have not been positive. Remember, this is supposed to be a professional relationship where you receive guidance and support, not the other way around.
You’re not being dramatic – it’s reasonable to expect that an advisor should provide the support and assistance you need, especially since you’re paying for that service. It’s concerning that she’s put you in an uncomfortable position, especially asking for something so personal when you barely know each other.
It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and concerns. If you feel uncomfortable writing the letter or don’t want to, you’re absolutely within your rights to decline again. Maybe you could also consider reaching out to someone else at the college – perhaps a different advisor or a department head – to express your concerns about the situation. They might be able to offer support or help improve your experience moving forward. Just remember, your needs as a student come first!