I’m really struggling to handle this situation. I’m in an Ethnic Studies class with a girl with special needs (let’s call her S) whom I’ve known since kindergarten, and she hasn’t changed at all. S still doesn’t seem to understand that hitting others when she’s upset is not okay, nor does she grasp that having a meltdown because she can’t play Brawl Stars while the rest of the class is taking an exam is inappropriate (this actually happened last year). I’ve genuinely tried to be supportive, and she considers me her best friend. Unfortunately, other students make fun of her, and the teachers have mostly given up on trying to manage her behavior.
Just yesterday, while we were supposed to be writing an essay in class, S started barking and screaming at the top of her lungs because she couldn’t watch YouTube shorts on her phone. The teacher allowed her to use her phone, and S continued to disrupt the class the entire period. Since I easily get distracted, her outburst made it nearly impossible for me to focus, and as a result, I couldn’t finish my essay and ended up with a 0. It feels like she doesn’t want to engage with the material and instead disrupts the class just to kill time on her phone.
I’ve even talked to my counselor about separating us into different classes, but he said that’s not guaranteed. I’m really at a loss for what to do next. Any advice?
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and I can imagine how frustrating this must be for you. It’s challenging to balance empathy for S with the need to focus on your own education. Here are a few suggestions you might consider:
Talk to Your Teacher: Consider having a one-on-one conversation with your Ethnic Studies teacher. Express how S’s disruptions are affecting your ability to learn, and see if there are strategies they can implement to help manage the classroom environment better.
Set Boundaries: While it’s great that you want to be supportive of S, it’s also essential to prioritize your own education. Maybe you can politely let S know when her behavior is making it hard for you to focus, in a way that doesn’t come off as hurtful.
Find a Study Buddy: If possible, try to sit with someone else during class who can help you stay focused and engaged, or find a quiet spot in the classroom if that’s an option.
Self-Care Techniques: Since you get distracted easily, it might help to practice certain techniques like deep breathing or using noise-canceling headphones (if allowed) during class to help you concentrate despite the noise.
Get Support: If the disruptions continue to impact your learning, consider discussing the situation again with your counselor or another trusted adult at school. While they may not be able to move you to another class, they might have other suggestions or resources to help.
Empathy for S: Remember that S’s behavior may come from a place of frustration or lack of understanding. While it’s hard, try to maintain some empathy for her situation, which can sometimes help ease your own feelings of frustration.
Ultimately, you have every right to advocate for your own education while also trying to be supportive of your classmate. Good luck, and take care of yourself!