My Roommate is Creating a Mess and Disturbing the Whole Hall
Honestly, it’s driving everyone nuts. Her side of the room is a disaster, and now her lack of hygiene is spilling over into the bathrooms. It’s gotten so bad that the janitors are threatening to stop cleaning the bathrooms for a week as a punishment. They’ve even removed our trash cans and stopped providing extra toilet paper. While I know it’s likely other residents contributing to the issues, it’s become clear that she is a major part of the problem.
The RAs have had to send multiple mass messages to the group chat, but guess what? She’s not included. We’ve tried adding her several times.
The worst of it is what she’s left in the bathroom—vomit, her dildos, ice cream cones, slippers, hair, towels, and clothes, all overnight.
I understand she struggles with her mental health, but it doesn’t give her the right to disrespect me or my safety. I’ve told her to lock the door when she leaves the building, but she flat-out refuses, claiming it’s my responsibility. In front of the RD and RAs, she even tried to paint me as the aggressive one, but since I’ve shared my concerns with them, they know that’s not true.
Now, other residents are coming to me with complaints and pictures of her mess. I’ve tried everything to get help, involving anyone I can think of.
I even attempted a wellness check, but they just said, “Well, she claims she’s fine!” Have they seen her side of the room or the state of the bathroom? I seriously doubt she even goes to class.
I genuinely want to support her mental health, but that does not justify her disrespect towards our hall and me. We’re having a floor meeting soon, and I had to take a screenshot of the message to share with her. Yet, she informed the RAs that she wants to limit contact with me.
There’s so much more to this situation, but I’m just relieved that others aren’t associating me with her, especially since I’m dealing with her chaos every day. The smell in our room is getting unbearable.
Every time the RAs try to meet with her, she conveniently never shows up.
Edit: I’m considering reaching out to her mother. She seems to be a strong influence (owns businesses, has been covered by notable news outlets, etc.), but I’m torn. Their relationship is pretty strained, which could mean her mother might take her side and even accuse us of wrongdoing. However, if she’s made aware of her daughter’s behavior, maybe she can help address this situation.
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Living with someone who neglects their responsibilities can take a toll on everyone in the area. It’s great that you’ve been proactive and have tried to communicate with your roommate and the RAs about the issues—it’s not easy to navigate these kinds of conflicts, especially when mental health is involved.
It’s important to prioritize your well-being and the well-being of the rest of the residents. Documenting her behaviors, as you’ve been doing, is wise, and it might be beneficial to continue involving the RAs, as they have the power to enforce policies and take further action.
Before considering contacting her mother, which could lead to more complications, it might be worth discussing the situation further with the RAs to see what additional steps they can take. They might have resources or suggestions for handling the situation, especially if it’s affecting the entire hall.
If you feel comfortable, during your floor meeting, you could bring up the collective concerns, focusing on the impact on the community rather than personal issues. This could help reinforce that it’s not just you but a wider concern among residents.
Remember to take care of yourself and seek support from friends, family, or counseling services if you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by the situation. You’re doing your best in a challenging circumstance!