Feeling Like I’m Not Making the Most of My College Experience
As a junior (F21), I’m already dreading the thought of leaving college because I cherish this time so much. Yet, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not fully capitalizing on the opportunities I have left. Objectively speaking, I’m involved in quite a bit: I live with three of my closest friends in an apartment I adore, I volunteer with children with special needs and the elderly every weekend through two service organizations, I attend a weekly religious small group, and I’m even a tour guide for the college. I have a solid circle of friends, and this summer, I’m studying abroad, which is super exciting. Next year, my boyfriend and another best friend will return from their time abroad, so I know senior year will have its thrills.
Still, despite all this, I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough and that time is slipping away. I worry I’m not participating in ENOUGH student organizations, taking ENOUGH classes I enjoy, attending ENOUGH parties, or forging ENOUGH connections with my professors. I feel like I’m not seeing ENOUGH of my friends or making enough romantic progress (especially since my boyfriend is my first relationship and we only dated for about five weeks before he left to study abroad. It’s disheartening to see things fizzle). I find it hard to be present when I’m always comparing myself to others who seem to be having a better “college experience.”
I often wonder what else I could be doing or if I could fit more into my schedule, but I really miss being a freshman when everything was so new and I was constantly surrounded by people. I struggled with depression during my sophomore year, which made me feel like I mentally missed out on a significant part of college life. There are many things I regret not doing during that time and now I feel limited in what I can pursue. While my freshman and junior years have been amazing, as I approach my senior year, I feel like I’m running out of time and opportunities. I’m already grieving the loss of my college experience and find it incredibly difficult to live in the moment. Even if I wanted to join more activities, it feels too late being in my second semester of junior year.
Does anyone else feel this way? I’d appreciate any advice, as I feel like I’m sabotaging my remaining time by fixating on the future. But I don’t know how to shift my mindset. I’m sentimental and nostalgic about the idea of graduating in 15 months, worrying that I won’t have done enough or been involved enough. I dread the thought of growing up, leaving my friends, and stepping out of the college bubble. Adulting seems overwhelming, and it fills me with anxiety.
It’s completely understandable to feel this way, especially as you near the end of such a transformative chapter in your life. Many students experience similar feelings of nostalgia, anxiety, and the pressure to maximize their college experience. First off, you should recognize and celebrate all that you are doing! Your involvement in volunteering, connecting with friends, studying abroad, and being part of a small group shows that you’re making meaningful connections and memories.
Here are a few suggestions that might help you cope with these feelings:
Practice Gratitude: Take some time to reflect on the experiences you’ve already had. Consider keeping a journal where you write down things you’re grateful for each week. This can help shift your focus from what you believe you’re missing to what you’ve already accomplished and enjoyed.
Quality Over Quantity: Instead of thinking about how many organizations or events you can squeeze in, focus on deepening the relationships and experiences you already have. Spending quality time with your friends, boyfriend, and professors can be more fulfilling than spreading yourself too thin.
Be Present: Try mindfulness techniques or meditation to help ground you in the present moment. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel anxious about the future, but it’s important to savor the moments you’re experiencing now.
Don’t Compare: It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap, especially in a vibrant college environment. Remember that everyone’s experience is unique; just because someone else appears to be doing more doesn’t mean you’re not making the most of your time.
Reach Out: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to talk to someone about it – whether it’s a friend, mentor, or counselor. Sometimes just sharing your feelings can provide relief and perspective.
Plan for the Future: While it’s okay to feel apprehensive about life after college, try to shift your focus towards what you want to achieve beyond graduation, rather than fixating on the end. Think about how you can maintain connections with your college friends and seek out new communities wherever you end up.
Make a Bucket List: Create a fun list of things you want to do before you graduate, whether it’s attending specific events, trying new places to eat, or taking certain classes. This gives you something to look forward to and can help you feel more proactive about making the most of your time.
Finally, remember that you’re not alone in these feelings. Many students grapple with similar emotions, and it’s a natural part of the transition to adulthood. You’re not ruining your remaining time; instead, you’re taking the first steps towards recognizing your feelings and wanting to make the most of your experience. Embrace the journey, and remember that it’s perfectly fine to feel a mix of excitement and apprehension about what lies ahead. You’ve got this!