Feeling the Strain of Moving to a New Continent
Hi, Reddit. I recently relocated to the USA from my home country, where I was studying in 8th grade. Now, I’m a freshman, and while I initially felt excited about the opportunities here—I was in awe of the American school’s website—things have changed since I arrived in August 2024.
At first, I loved school and was passionate about my studies, staying engaged, joining clubs, and keeping up with my work. However, the weight of my uncertain future is starting to weigh heavily on me. I aspire to be a doctor and attend a reputable college, which brings enormous pressure. My ambition is high, but I find myself trying to juggle it all at once and often failing, which leaves me feeling terrible. Sometimes, I don’t even know where to start because I fear I’ll fail.
Financial challenges from moving abroad add to my stress, and it’s hard to see my parents struggling. Consequently, I’ve lost motivation to study; my to-do list sits untouched in my Notes app, waiting for me to get something done. I constantly compare myself to other kids in my school, especially those from my own ethnicity, who seem to be thriving academically. I feel overwhelmed, worrying about countless things without completing any, and my mind feels cluttered.
On top of that, I’m really introverted and haven’t made any friends. While I don’t mind too much, it does contribute to my feelings of isolation. It doesn’t help that I’ve gained weight, which my family often brings up. I dislike exercising and while I’ve considered dieting, it’s not proving successful.
So, what should I do? How can I regain the motivation I once had when I first moved here? How do I work towards my goals without feeling completely lost? Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off in my home country. I’m not even sure if this is the right Reddit space for this, but seeking advice from adults feels frustrating because all I get are generic suggestions like “go make friends” or “go touch grass.” Any help would be appreciated!
It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of pressure and uncertainty right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. Moving to a new country, changing schools, and trying to figure out your future all at once is no small feat, especially for someone so young. Here are a few suggestions that might help you navigate this challenging time:
Break It Down: Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, break your goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, if you want to get into a good college, start by researching what classes or extracurriculars you need to focus on this year. Setting tiny, attainable goals can help you regain a sense of control and progress.
Celebrate Small Wins: Whenever you check something off your to-do list, no matter how small, take a moment to recognize your accomplishment. This can help build your motivation and create a positive feedback loop.
Talk to Someone: While you mentioned that seeking advice from adults hasn’t been helpful, consider talking to a school counselor, a teacher you trust, or even someone at a community center. They might offer more tailored advice based on their experiences with students in similar situations.
Limit Comparisons: It’s easy to compare yourself to others, especially when you feel out of place. Remember that everyone has their own journey, and progress look different for everyone. Focus on your own path and what you can control.
Practice Self-Care: Even though you mentioned you don’t enjoy exercising, try to find an activity you like that gets you moving, even if it’s just a short walk. Similarly, find downtime to do things that relax and recharge you, whether it’s reading, drawing, listening to music, or something else that brings you joy.
Healthy Lifestyle Changes: If dieting hasn’t worked out, think about small, sustainable changes you could make instead of a complete overhaul. This might mean cooking meals with your family or being mindful of what you eat without stressing too much about strict diets.
Be Kind to Yourself: Remember that it’s okay to feel lost and overwhelmed. Give yourself permission to take a step back when you need to. The pressure to succeed can be heavy, but it’s important to prioritize your well-being.
Seek Connections at Your Own Pace: While friendships may not be your priority now, consider engaging in clubs or groups that truly interest you. This way, you can meet people who share your passions without the pressure of socializing for the sake of it.
Moving is a big adjustment for anyone, and it’s natural to feel a mix of emotions about it. Take it one step at a time, and remember that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it. You’ve already shown so much resilience and ambition—keep nurturing that spirit!