Hey, I’m a 17-year-old with autism, and I’ve been thinking a lot about college lately, especially about the possibility of a future roommate. I worry they might find me odd, even if I make an effort to be a good roommate. Since I have some habits associated with my autism, I’ve faced comments about being “weird” or “strange” before. I also exhibit some compulsive behaviors that can seem unusual when taken out of context. I’m concerned that if I get matched with someone who is judgmental, it could lead to a bad situation, regardless of my efforts to adapt. Making friends can be tough for me, so I’m not feeling too optimistic about that, either. Has anyone else experienced this? Any tips on how I can navigate these concerns?
M17 autistic here, worried my future roommate will find me weird even if I try to be a good roommate
It’s completely understandable to feel anxious about having a roommate, especially when you’re concerned about how they might perceive you. Many people, regardless of neurodiversity, share similar fears about being judged or misunderstood. Here are a few thoughts that might help:
Open Communication: It might help to have an open dialogue with your roommate from the start. You can share your experiences, and let them know about your habits and any challenges you might face. This transparency can often foster understanding and empathy.
Set Boundaries: Discuss your needs and preferences early on. Be clear about what helps you thrive in a shared space, and encourage your roommate to share their needs as well. This mutual understanding can create a more comfortable living environment.
Seek Support: Many colleges have resources for neurodivergent students. Consider reaching out to a counselor or a supportive group on campus. They might provide tips on navigating roommate dynamics and building friendships.
Focus on Common Interests: It can be helpful to find common ground with your roommate. Whether it’s shared hobbies, classes, or other interests, building a connection can help ease your worries about being seen as “weird.”
Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that everyone has quirks and habits, and it’s okay to be different. It’s important to be kind to yourself and recognize your strengths alongside your challenges.
Take Things One Step at a Time: Friendships and roommate relationships often take time to develop. Don’t feel pressured to be friends right away. Just focus on being respectful and considerate, and see how your relationship evolves.
Lastly, you’re not alone in this; many others have similar concerns. With time, patience, and open communication, it’s possible to create a positive living situation. Take care, and best of luck with your college journey!