“Never Good Enough” for My Dad
Lately, my dad has been really frustrating me. I put in so much effort at school, but he hardly acknowledges it. Instead, whenever I get a grade that’s not an A, he makes a big deal out of it. I remember back in freshman year, I studied tirelessly for my finals and earned As in every subject except for one B+. Instead of recognizing my hard work, he only focused on that one B+, and it brought me to tears. It hurt to think that all my effort was overlooked because of that one grade.
Now, every time he mentions a grade that he deems “inadequate,” he sneers, “What, are you going to cry now?” And yes, I often do cry, because it genuinely provokes me. I can handle the criticism to an extent, but that comment is the last straw. I work really hard, and it’s painful to feel that my efforts are disregarded while only my shortcomings get noticed. It often feels like he’s trying to belittle or humiliate me.
I’ve always been a straight-A student and have never needed reminders or pressure from my parents to stay on top of my studies. Yet, he never acknowledges my accomplishments. On top of that, he’s never apologized for his hurtful words. Instead, he tells me to “stop being upset.” He calls me dramatic and suggests I’m crying over nothing. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him apologize to me, my sister, or my mom in my entire life.
I don’t know why I crave his validation so much because, typically, I don’t care about what others think. I think it’s just that when someone makes me feel small or inadequate, it really cuts deep. I’ll probably delete this later because I’ll feel embarrassed reading it again, but I needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.
I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way. It sounds incredibly frustrating and hurtful to feel like your hard work goes unrecognized, especially when you’re putting in so much effort. It’s completely understandable to feel upset when the one person whose approval seems important is more focused on what you’re not doing perfectly rather than acknowledging your achievements.
It’s tough to deal with a parent who doesn’t validate your feelings or recognize your efforts, especially when their comments can feel belittling. It’s okay to seek validation from the people you care about, and it’s painful when they don’t provide it. Remember, your worth isn’t defined by your grades or someone else’s opinion. Your hard work and dedication are what truly matter.
Consider talking to someone you trust about how you’re feeling—whether it’s a friend, teacher, or another family member. Sometimes, getting an outside perspective can help. You deserve to be appreciated and to have your feelings acknowledged. Take care of yourself and know that it’s okay to express your emotions, even if others don’t understand. You’re not alone in this.