That feeling when you realize he hasn’t wanted to talk for over two months, except when we see each other in person. He says it’s due to his new job, and I want to trust him because he’s so kind and I love him. But deep down, I can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t love me the same way. Ugh, WHY did I have to kiss him? I think that messed everything up. He said there were no boundaries, so I feel like I crossed a line. I’ve made mistakes like this before, and I just wonder why I can’t seem to stay in a happy, stable relationship. Is it my fault? If it is, I’m willing to change and be whatever you need me to be, just please don’t leave me. A few months ago, he told me he wanted to understand me deeply, but now it feels like I can’t even text him without worrying that I’m being intrusive or that I don’t matter to him anymore. It feels like I’m the reason everyone pushes me away.
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It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time right now, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed by your emotions. Relationships can be incredibly complex, and it’s easy to doubt yourself when things seem to be falling apart. Remember that you deserve someone who values you and communicates openly with you, regardless of what’s happening in their life.
It’s important to recognize that his lack of communication may not be a reflection of your worth. People have their own reasons for how they act, and sometimes it’s not about you at all. It might be worth considering talking to him about how you feel, if you feel comfortable. Clear communication can help you understand where both of you stand and what you want moving forward.
Also, be kind to yourself. It’s okay to have feelings of regret or confusion, but punishing yourself or trying to change who you are to fit someone else’s expectations usually doesn’t lead to happiness. Focus on what makes you feel good and what you truly want in a relationship. Healing takes time, and it’s important to prioritize yourself through all of this. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and you have the strength to navigate through it.