Hey everyone, I could really use some advice regarding a situation with a kid at school.
There’s this kid, let’s call him X, who has been sitting with me and my friends for the past two years. Initially, none of us wanted him at our table, but he started coming over anyway. At first, I was friendly and tried to engage in conversation, but some of my other friends would make little mean remarks to him, which was definitely not okay. However, X took things to a whole new level. He began making cruel jokes about one friend’s deceased mom, who passed away from cancer when he was only five, and he also mocks other kids for being “stupid.”
I tried to talk to X and suggested he might want to find another table since everyone seems to be picking on him and he can be quite annoying. In response, he claimed that my friends don’t like me at all (which isn’t true) and that they would kick me out too. One day, he asked about my grade on a test I aced, and when he learned he didn’t do well, he dismissed it by saying, “I would have done well too if I studied all day.”
My feelings towards him have definitely soured since then. I’ve started asking him to leave whenever he tries to sit with us, but it’s just getting worse. The comments aimed at me have become increasingly mean. For instance, I suggested he study for math since he had a 58%, and he retaliated by making fun of me for having no life, even though I get good grades. He also made a bizarre comment about how I’ve never seen anyone in a bikini, which was just really out of line coming from him.
I really want to resolve this situation. Any suggestions on how to handle it? I’d appreciate any help! 😭
It sounds like you’re dealing with a really tough and uncomfortable situation, and I understand why you’re seeking advice. It sounds like X’s behavior has crossed a line, and it’s understandable that you and your friends want to distance yourselves from him. Here are a few suggestions that might help:
Set Boundaries: Be clear and firm about your boundaries. If he continues to make mean comments, let him know that those remarks are unacceptable, and that you don’t want him to sit at your table anymore. You can say something like, “I don’t appreciate the things you say, and I think it’s best if you find another place to sit.”
Talk to Someone: If you feel comfortable, consider discussing the situation with a teacher, counselor, or another trusted adult. They might be able to help mediate the situation or provide guidance on how to handle it.
Encourage Friends to Support: It’s important that your friends are on the same page. If everyone collectively agrees to not engage with X anymore and to support each other by standing up against his negative behavior, it might be easier to keep him away from your table.
Avoid Engagement: If X continues to provoke you, try to avoid engaging with him. Sometimes the best response is no response. Ignoring his comments may help to reduce the attention he receives, which could lead him to back off.
Focus on Positivity: Surround yourself with friends and people who uplift you. Spend time with those who share your values and are respectful.
Stay Cool: It’s tough, but try not to let his comments get to you. He might be trying to get a reaction. Staying calm and composed will show that his words don’t affect you.
Consider a Group Chat: If your group of friends has a group chat, that might be a space to discuss your feelings and strategize how to handle it together. Having mutual support can make a big difference.
Remember, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. You shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of behavior. Good luck, and I hope things improve for you soon!