I’m really worried about my friend. One of my closest friends is constantly pushing herself to the limit by managing over five clubs and taking all AP and honors classes. On top of that, she juggles countless extracurricular activities, and I’ve lost track of how many there are. The poor girl is only getting about two hours of sleep each night, and I honestly don’t know how she keeps going.
Her parents put an immense amount of pressure on her to excel, while they have a much more relaxed approach with her younger sister. If she receives a grade below 90, it leads to a significant argument. I once had to comfort her after she received an 80 on an assignment, and she felt like it was the end of the world. Her parents are good people, and she loves them, but this one aspect of their expectations really weighs heavily on her.
She’s faced struggles with suicidal thoughts in the past, and I can only imagine how all of this affects her mental well-being. Whenever we finally have a chance to hang out (even though we attend the same school, her workload is overwhelming), she shares her worries about grades and homework. The idea of dropping any of her classes—even the ones she finds incredibly challenging—seems impossible to her. I’ve tried explaining to her multiple times that this isn’t healthy, but she doesn’t seem to hear me.
I understand her desire to get into a good school and pursue a demanding career, but there comes a point where it just becomes too much. It’s heartbreaking to watch her push herself to the brink, and I feel so helpless in trying to support her.
It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s clear how much you care about your friend. It’s heartbreaking to see someone you care about struggle under such pressure, especially when it seems to be affecting their mental health. Here are a few thoughts on what you might consider doing:
Encourage Open Communication: Let her know that it’s okay to talk about her feelings and struggles. Sometimes just having someone to listen can help alleviate some of the burden. You might share your concerns gently, emphasizing that you’re coming from a place of love and support.
Promote Self-Care: Gently suggest that she take breaks and prioritize her well-being. Encourage her to find activities that help her relax, even if just for a little while. It’s important for her to understand that taking care of her mental health is just as important as her academic success.
Suggest Professional Support: If she’s comfortable with it, encourage her to speak with a school counselor or a mental health professional who can provide strategies for managing stress and pressure. They can also offer a safe space to discuss her feelings.
Talk to Her Parents (if appropriate): If you feel it’s safe and appropriate, consider talking to her parents about your concerns. They may not realize the impact their expectations are having on her mental health. If she’s open to it, this could be a constructive conversation.
Lead by Example: Share your own experiences with stress and the importance of balance in life. It might help her see that she’s not alone in feeling overwhelmed and that it’s okay to seek help.
Be There for Her: Keep being the supportive friend that you are. Sometimes just knowing someone cares can make a huge difference. Plan low-pressure hangouts where she can unwind and escape from her responsibilities, even if just for a moment.
Remember, while you can offer support and suggestions, ultimately it’s her journey to navigate. You’re doing a great job by being there for her and being concerned about her well-being.