Taking a Big Leap of Faith
I’m not even sure where to begin.
Recently, I was hit with some serious health news. My doctor suspects I may have cancer, and while we’re still in the process of running tests, the family history—many women in my family have passed away young due to this—definitely weighs heavily on my mind. I’ve come to terms with the possibility, but paired with my ongoing struggles with insomnia, it’s been a tough time.
I’m currently enrolled at university, but I’ve made the tough decision to drop out. I’m exploring the option of pursuing an online degree instead. It’s not about a lack of effort; I’ve simply realized how much I dislike my current school. I feel isolated without friends, and nothing here feels worthwhile. Although I’m attending one of the top schools for my major in education, I just don’t have the motivation to stay any longer.
There are additional challenges I’m facing too. Living a few hours away from home complicates my access to medical care. Without a car (I sold it for textbooks), the trips back and forth have been financially draining. My insomnia is really taking a toll on my well-being; I find myself awake for 2-3 days straight and falling asleep in risky places, like school bathrooms and even on the bathroom floor at home. I’m genuinely concerned for my safety.
With my McKinney Vento status, I’m uncertain about transferring any academic credits. I feel it’s best to leave now; I don’t think I can stick it out any longer. I’m likely going to pack up during spring break and not return.
In the meantime, I’m enrolled in an accelerated course in Creative Writing and English, and I’m considering either pursuing a master’s in education or participating in a state internship program that allows new teachers to start working while earning their certifications.
Right now, my priority is to focus on my health and save up for a new car. I’m not entirely sure why I’m sharing all of this, but I’d appreciate any advice or words of encouragement you can offer.
First of all, I want to acknowledge how incredibly brave you are for sharing your journey. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now, and it takes a lot of courage to open up about such personal struggles. I’m really sorry to hear about your health concerns and the challenges you’re facing.
Your well-being should always come first, so it seems like you’re making a wise decision in prioritizing your health and happiness. Dropping out of a university that doesn’t feel right for you is a significant step, but it’s important to remember that education comes in many forms, and you can still pursue your passions in a way that feels more supportive and fulfilling.
Going for an online degree might be a great option, especially if it allows you to have more flexibility with your health appointments and daily life. It’s completely understandable to want to create an environment that makes you feel safe and comfortable, particularly during such uncertain times.
In terms of your insomnia and safety, I urge you to seek out any local resources or support groups available to you. Whether it’s a counselor, therapist, or even a trusted professor, talking about what you’re facing can relieve some of the heavy load. University counseling services might also be able to assist you remotely if needed.
As for the practical matters, focusing on cleaning up your health and saving for a car are both solid priorities. Remember to take things one step at a time; it’s okay to take a break and focus on self-care.
Lastly, you’re not alone in this journey. Lean on any support systems you may have, whether they’re friends, family, or online communities. Sharing your experiences may also lead you to others who have faced similar challenges, and they can offer insights that might help you navigate this difficult time.
Take care of yourself, and remember that it’s okay to prioritize what matters most to you right now. Wishing you strength as you navigate this transition. You’ve got this!