It seems like my friend and I just can’t seem to get along anymore.
We’ve been friends for quite a while, but things have taken a turn. It all started when we had to take a P.E. class with a new coach, whom I’ll refer to as H. One of the rules he enforced was that if anyone got in trouble with the office, the entire class would have to run the football field at full speed.
Another friend of mine (let’s call him G) and I have been helping out with the high school football team as managers. Now that the season is over, we’ve been participating in regular class activities, including what H requires. This shift happened about two nine-week periods into the school year.
During our middle school football season, which lasts about a month, ten students got sent to the office during our P.E. class. This meant we had to run ten laps around the football field, which is equivalent to two miles. Personally, I believe I could handle a two-mile run pretty well. H, however, doubts my capabilities because I don’t lift weights as much as he does.
Things escalated into an argument on Discord, with G occasionally chiming in with questions without taking a strong stance. But before diving deeper into the argument, let me give you some context about our P.E. class. We usually spend around 5-10 minutes warming up and another 5-10 minutes on general strength training (mostly core workouts). I’ve been engaged in this routine for about nine weeks, along with the warm-ups since the start of the school year. H and other classmates have also taken part in hurdle workouts, which involve stepping over obstacles—nothing too challenging, but G and I have never participated in either hurdles or the football runs that others have had to complete.
Back to the main issue: G asked if I was ready to tackle the ten laps around the football field. I mentioned that it wasn’t that bad, but G countered that it was tough for him, given that he’s built differently—he’s a bit heavier while I’m on the skinnier side. Then H jumped in, claiming, “Bro, if you run, you’ll be dying,” to which G agreed. I decided to do some calculations and found that running ten laps is equivalent to 126 trips up and down a high school basketball court. Estimating the average running speed of a middle schooler, it would take around 80-90 minutes to complete, which is longer than our P.E. class duration of one hour.
With all our warm-ups and general strength training taking around 20 minutes, plus the 20 minutes set aside for hurdle workouts, that leaves us only about 20 minutes of actual running time. This means it would actually take us four to five days to finish that running requirement if we didn’t remove any workouts from our schedule. Plus, G and I have never participated in the hurdle workouts—we simply sit and watch during that time.
As we continued to debate our situation, the conversation veered towards our grades. H mentioned he cares about his academics, and I remarked that he doesn’t genuinely care about all his classes. While H does tend to have better grades, he spends extra time studying at home. I, on the other hand, have never really studied since second grade and still manage to keep grades close to his, just a little below.
At this point, I’ve pretty much decided to let go of the argument and accept what he said. If necessary, I can share screenshots of our exchanges or provide more details on what transpired.
It sounds like you’re going through a tough time with your friend, and it’s understandable that conflicts can arise, especially in a competitive environment like sports or academics. It seems like the arguments with H have intensified, particularly over the physical demands of P.E. and how each of you approaches fitness and academics differently.
The main thing to remember is that every person has their own strengths and weaknesses. It’s great that you and G have found common ground as managers for the football team, but it might help to take a step back and assess if you want to keep pushing this rivalry with H. It can be exhausting to be in constant conflict, and sometimes it’s worthwhile to find a way to communicate more constructively or simply agree to disagree.
If you’re willing, consider having a conversation with H where you focus on understanding each other’s perspectives rather than debating them. This could lead to a more supportive atmosphere where everyone can thrive. After all, friendships are important, and working through disagreements can make them stronger in the long run. If the conflict persists and becomes unmanageable, it might also be worth seeking advice from a teacher or counselor who can provide additional support.
Remember to take care of yourself and try not to let these conflicts overshadow the positive aspects of your relationships and activities. Good luck!