Update On School Counselor Situation

Update on the School Counselor Situation

A few months back, I shared my frustrations about my school counselor in a post. I want to take a moment to clarify what I wrote and provide an update, while also apologizing for the tone I used. I was experiencing a lot of pain, anger, and resentment at the time, and I realize my language reflected that.

I’m not looking for sympathy; rather, I want to share how the situation has evolved and seek some advice on how to navigate it moving forward.

As I mentioned before, my counselor has consistently failed to respect my feelings. Every attempt I made to discuss conflicts ended with her siding with others and making me feel like the problem. She often twisted my words and dismissed my emotions, never truly attempting to help.

You might wonder what led to such strong feelings against her, aside from the gaslighting. Last year, I experienced a traumatic loss—my childhood best friend, who lived next door and was one of the few people I felt close to, moved away. Our friendship ended in a painful way, and as the one-year anniversary of our falling out approached (the day after my birthday), I sought support from my counselor.

Her response? She barely listened, fixating on her computer instead. She confused my ex-best friend with someone else and asked about attending “her party.” To top it off, she suggested I should “just forget about it.” This disregard for my feelings was infuriating, especially when she offered advice like focusing on the positive aspects of anniversaries, completely ignoring the fact that my birthday precedes this painful memory.

Additionally, I deal with chronic pain, asthma, and pollen allergies. Last year, I attended PE online, so I wasn’t accustomed to outdoor activities. This year, both my manager and PE teacher understood my situation and allowed me to stay indoors for one class. Despite my efforts and earning an A+, my counselor dismissed my concerns with comments like, “Unless you’re going to pass out, you can participate.” It felt like she thought I was trying to get out of class, which was incredibly frustrating given my active participation.

The most discouraging part is that the only person who validated my feelings, the school psychologist, no longer works here. She understood me and made me feel seen, and now I’m left to face this counselor alone.

Currently, it’s early March, and academic advising has begun—meaning I have to meet with my counselor to select classes for next year. This has caused me significant anxiety since I haven’t willingly met with her since September. I had hoped the situation would improve after the holidays, but without the school psychologist’s support, it feels worse than ever.

Last Friday, my counselor attempted to pull me out of class, and I was completely overwhelmed and unable to respond. When she asked if I was taking a test, I lied and said yes, just to avoid the interaction. I felt so anxious afterward that I asked my teacher to tell my counselor I was busy if she came looking for me.

To be frank, the atmosphere around this counselor feels suffocating. It’s as if she exudes an intimidating aura that makes me want to keep my distance. I’m already facing enough challenges, and her advice and demeanor only make things harder for me. I genuinely feel on the verge of breaking down.

I also want to clarify that I’ve never had issues with authority figures in the past. I’ve always had positive experiences with my teachers and counselors, with only minor disagreements here or there. The only exception was a particularly harsh sewing teacher in middle school, who created a negative environment for all her students.

As I mentioned before, I’ve been told I can’t switch counselors, which leaves me feeling stuck in this difficult situation for the remainder of high school. If anyone has advice on how to handle this moving forward, I would truly appreciate it.