What’s the most misguided lesson you received at school?
In my experience, I found that self-defense is often treated more harshly than the original provocation, and depending on the teacher, there’s a clear bias—favoring boys while dismissing girls’ feelings. I realized this through a personal encounter.
One day, I was simply focused on my work when our English teacher, who was also our homeroom teacher, asked us to grab a mock paper from our exercise books. My classmate Marcus, sitting right behind me, seemed to have the answers to everything. I asked, “Can I take a look?” but got no reply. So, I leaned in for a closer view since my eyesight isn’t the best. Suddenly, he hit my shoulder hard, causing me a bit of pain, and shouted, “Give it back NOW!” I wondered why he didn’t just say no from the start.
In an attempt to return the paper, I may have overreacted, and my action turned into an accidental throw, which the whole class witnessed, including the teacher. Thankfully, no one got hurt, but a few classmates were shocked. The teacher then pulled me aside to discuss what happened. Here’s how the conversation went:
Teacher: Why did you do that?
Me: I just wanted to see what Marcus had. He didn’t say I couldn’t, so I looked. He hit my shoulder hard and told me to give it back, which made me react.
Teacher: I didn’t see him do that. You must be making it up. And why can’t you control your emotions?
Me: I promise he did it; you just didn’t witness it. I got triggered, so I acted this way.
Teacher: That doesn’t justify your actions. You could have hurt someone.
Me: I understand, but Marcus did physically hurt me. Why isn’t he here, too?
Teacher: I didn’t see that happen. Plus, you weren’t even injured. You had enough energy to throw that—
Me: I said Marcus triggered me!
Teacher: So what?
(Awkward silence)
Teacher: Is that all you can say?
Me: Um…
Teacher: Please see me after class.
Honestly, I felt like the teacher favored Marcus, and this was just one instance that reinforced my belief about how school dynamics can operate. It leads me to think that some teachers may hold biases against girls or even certain boys for no clear reason.
What are your thoughts on this?
It sounds like you had a really frustrating experience, and it’s completely understandable to feel upset about it. It’s unfortunate that, in some school environments, it seems like self-defense or reacting to being hurt can be viewed more harshly than the initial action that provoked it. Your situation illustrates a broader issue where sometimes the dynamics of power and expectation in classrooms can lead to unfair treatment—especially when it comes to gender biases.
Teachers should ideally be impartial and foster a safe environment for all students, encouraging open dialogue about conflicts rather than assuming one side is at fault. It’s concerning that you felt like your teacher didn’t acknowledge what you experienced, which can be disheartening, especially when you’re already trying to navigate these tricky social situations.
It’s important to remember that it’s okay to stand up for yourself and express how you feel, even if it seems like the response from authority figures isn’t fair. Sharing stories like yours can help raise awareness about such biases and hopefully encourage better practices in schools. Talking to someone you trust about this experience, whether it’s a counselor or another teacher, might also help you feel more supported. What do you think your next steps might be to address this kind of treatment?