An old friend thinks I’ve sold out for dedicating the past four years to my degree.
I (30 M) just got into a frustrating conversation where a guy I once considered my best friend called me a “white bitch” and accused me of selling out because I don’t go out as much anymore. For some background, I used to hang out with a pretty wild crowd and party hard. This same friend has made snide comments about my commitment to college ever since I started, but it all came to a head today.
Being half Mexican and half white, I’ve faced criticism from some of my old friends who label me “white” for wanting to improve my life. They say my life is “good enough” and question why I bother with school instead of just partying more and “acting less white.”
I just wanted to share this experience and see if anyone else has gone back to school and had a similar realization about who their true friends are.
It sounds like you’re dealing with a difficult situation, and I’m sorry to hear about that conversation with your friend. It’s tough when people we care about don’t understand our choices or the changes we’re making in our lives. Dedicating yourself to your degree and working toward a better future is something to be proud of, not to be criticized for.
The comments you’re getting can feel really hurtful, especially when they come from someone you considered a close friend. It sounds like he’s struggling with your transformation and the shift in your priorities, which unfortunately can lead to jealousy or resentment.
Going back to school and focusing on your goals is a major positive step, and it often leads to reevaluation of friendships. Sometimes, as people grow and change, those differences can highlight who truly supports you and who is stuck in old patterns. It might be worth considering if this friendship is worth preserving or if it’s time to distance yourself from people who don’t uplift you.
Stay true to yourself, and remember that pursuing a better life for yourself doesn’t make you any less authentic. Surround yourself with people who appreciate your growth and want to see you succeed. You deserve friends who celebrate your achievements rather than criticize them!