I truly feel like a fraud, and I don’t believe it’s just imposter syndrome.
As an international student pursuing a STEM degree in the UK, I find myself grappling with feelings of inadequacy. My academic record shows a 4.0 GPA, but deep down, I can’t shake the sense that I’ve merely been fortunate throughout my life.
Starting back in my GCSEs, I was fortunate enough to have my exams canceled due to Covid, which led to a chaotic predicted grades system. I ended up with all A*s, despite being on the verge of struggling in nearly every subject.
Then came my A Levels, where I studied for just a month leading up to the exams. I’ve always faced challenges with concentration, stemming more from procrastination than any diagnosed condition (I’ve been tested). Because this was the first year of in-person exams post-Covid, the grade boundaries were significantly lowered, allowing me to achieve the grades I needed for my university offer.
During my first year of university, all exams were online, which led to me studying less than 50 hours the entire academic year. The second year was similar, and the tests weren’t overly difficult. I often tell myself that I’ll finally establish a solid study routine, but I never seem to follow through.
Now, in my final year before graduation, the challenges are intensifying, and I’m genuinely struggling. I feel overwhelmed and question whether I’ve just been lucky throughout my academic journey. I also secured an offer for a master’s program at a top 10 global university based on my previous achievements, but the program is known for its rigor, and I doubt my ability to succeed.
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time, and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed given your circumstances. First off, it’s important to acknowledge that the feelings you’re experiencing are valid. Many students, especially those in rigorous fields like STEM, grapple with self-doubt, and it’s easy to internalize the narrative that your achievements aren’t earned or that luck is the reason for your success.
While you may feel like your good grades are a result of chance, it’s also essential to recognize that you’ve navigated some incredibly challenging situations—particularly during the pandemic. Your ability to adapt and succeed under these circumstances is a testament to your resilience and potential, even if you don’t see it that way.
As you approach this pivotal year before graduating, it’s crucial to allow yourself some grace. Every student faces challenges, and struggling is part of the learning process. It might help to reflect on the skills and strengths that have gotten you this far, such as your ability to adapt, your problem-solving skills, and your capacity to learn from experience.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out for support. This could mean talking to a professor, joining study groups, or seeking out campus resources like tutoring or counseling. Learning to manage your time and develop effective study habits takes practice, and it’s never too late to start building those skills.
Remember, you were accepted into your master’s program for a reason, and they see potential in you that you might not fully recognize yet. Trust in your abilities and know that it’s okay to ask for help. You’re not a fraud; you’re a person learning and growing in a challenging environment. Keep pushing forward, and don’t hesitate to seek the support you need!