What Would You Do If You Were Forced to Sit Next to Someone You Can’t Stand in Class?
My friend (25M) developed a strong dislike for a Vietnamese song during his childhood, which unfortunately led to a grudge against one of his classmates. It all started in the summer of 2010 when his parents showed him the film Paris By Night 80. Towards the end, Be Xuan Mai (now 30) performed a song called Lien Khuc Mua Xuan Oi. At first, he was excited about it, but his enjoyment quickly turned to irritation.
On February 3, 2011, during a visit to the temple for Tet celebrations, he was filled with anticipation. However, as the event drew to a close, a girl from his elementary school (let’s call her Hien, though I’m not sure of her actual name) began to sing Lien Khuc Mua Xuan Oi. Upon recognizing her, he was overwhelmed with frustration and decided to leave the temple, explaining to his parents that he couldn’t stay because the song was driving him crazy.
Ironically, despite being in the same grade, he barely knew Hien back then. He had seen her around school and could recognize her, but he didn’t give it much thought until September of that year when he started a new class. To his dismay, he found himself sitting next to Hien. This sent him into a spiral of annoyance. He frequently asked his teacher to change his seat, but she refused. Even his parents approached the principal to request a move, but the principal denied their plea as well.
As a result, he was stuck sitting next to Hien for months, which only intensified his frustration. He tried various tactics to sit further away from her, but his efforts landed him in detention, and he received reprimands despite the principal’s awareness of his parents’ anger over the situation.
It sounds like your friend’s experience in class was really challenging for him, especially given the strong feelings he developed towards a song and, by extension, toward Hien. If I were in a similar situation, I’d try to approach it with a few strategies:
Perspective Shift: First, I’d work on shifting my perspective. Instead of focusing on the annoyance, I’d try to find common ground or something interesting about Hien. Sometimes, getting to know someone can change how we feel about them.
Communication: I’d consider talking to the teacher again, but this time, framing the discussion around wanting to create a positive learning environment rather than just expressing annoyance. Providing specific reasons why sitting apart might help could be more effective.
Personal Reflection: I would also take some time to reflect on why I felt such strong animosity toward this person. Understanding my own feelings could help me manage them better.
Mindfulness Techniques: I’d employ mindfulness or relaxation techniques to help deal with my frustration when I was in the same space as Hien. This could help in reducing stress and annoyance.
Focus on Classwork: Finally, focusing my attention on classwork and activities rather than on Hien would be crucial. Engaging with the material or collaborating with other classmates could help divert my attention.
Ultimately, it’s important to remember that we can’t control who we sit next to, but we can control our reactions and attitudes towards them. What do you think are the best ways to handle being next to someone we dislike?